Subject: Beliefs (Page 37)

A conservative is a fellow who thinks a rich man should have a square deal.

(1902 – 1963) Danish actor
Beliefs

A conservative is a man who believes that nothing should be done for the first time.

writer
Beliefs

Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Beliefs

Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Facts Language Science/Weather

If there's one thing I know it's God does love a good joke.

blogger (Standing Room Only)
Beliefs Emotions God

I am determined that my children shall be brought up in their father’s religion, if they can find out what it is.

(1775 – 1834) English critic & essayist
Beliefs Children Family Fathers Religion

Journalists say a thing that they know isn’t true, in the hope that if they keep on saying it long enough it will be true.

1867 – 1931) English novelist
Communication Honesty Language Lies Truth

Lady Astor to Churchill: ‘Sir you’re drunk!’

Churchill’s reply: Yes, madam, I am drunk, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Appearance Beliefs Opinion

Theology is the effort to explain the unknowable in terms of the not worth knowing.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Beliefs Religion Science/Weather

One of my favorite philosophical tenets is that people will agree with you only if they already agree with you.

Beliefs People

When you ever hear girls say that "I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual," I like to reply with "I'm not honest, but you're interesting!

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Beliefs Characteristics Honesty Religion

I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs

Beware of the half truth… you may have gotten hold of the wrong half.

Beliefs Honesty Truth

He is a shifty-eyed goddamn liar…. he's one of the few in the history of this country to run for high office talking out of both sides of his mouth at the same time and lying out of both sides.

(1884 – 1972) 33rd U.S. president
Characteristics Honesty Insults Lies

The only time to be positive is when you are positive you are wrong.

Beliefs Murphy’s Laws

I don't want someone shoving his views down my throat, unless they're covered in a crunchy candy shell.

(1964 – ) comedian, political satirist, writer & television host
Beliefs Food/Drink Opinion

Gray hair is God's graffiti.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Appearance Communication God Reading/Writing

In high school, I wanted to be a feminist, but my boyfriend wouldn't let me.

comedian
Beliefs People

Isn’t it strange that the same people who laugh at gypsy fortune-tellers take economists seriously.

Beliefs

What really matters is the name you succeed in imposing on the facts – not the facts themselves.

Facts Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

Archbishop: An ecclesiastical dignitary one point holier than a bishop.

Definitions Religion