Subject: Beliefs (Page 37)

A fanatic is one who sticks to his guns whether they're loaded or not.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Arms Beliefs Opinion Things

I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Beliefs Communication

Man is Creation’s masterpiece; but who says so?

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Beliefs God

The difference between God and the historians consists above all in the fact that God cannot alter the past.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Beliefs God History Time

The best cure for Christianity is reading the Bible.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Religion

Everyone’s a pacifist between wars; it’s like being a vegetarian between meals.

(1938 – ) American journalist, teacher, lecturer & pacifist
Beliefs Conflict War

I will make a bargain with the Republicans; if they will stop telling lies about Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
Characteristics Honesty Lies Politicians Politics Truth

War is God's way of teaching us geography.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Conflict God War

The cure to information overload is more information.

(1950 – ) American technologist, commentator, author & editor
Beliefs Facts Intelligence

In view of the fact that God limited the intelligence of man, it seems unfair that He did not also limit his stupidity.

(1876 – 1967) German statesman
Beliefs God Intelligence Stupidity

Book Of Ecclesiasticles

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Beliefs Malaprops

Born-Again Virgin

Beliefs Book Titles Religion

Suicide is man's way of telling God, "You can't fire me – I quit."

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Beliefs Death God

I hate myself, but being Jewish has nothing to do with it.

(1947 – ) American comedian, writer, actor & television producer
Beliefs Religion Self

If you’re caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron; not even God can hit a 1-iron.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
God Golf Sports

Never mess up an apology with an excuse.

Beliefs Proverbs

Never tell the truth to those unworthy of it.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics Honesty Truth

The difference between a Northern Baptist and a Southern Baptist was that a Northern Baptist says, "There ain't no Hell," and a Southern Baptist says, "The hell 'ere ain't."

(1926 – 1983) American comedian & singer
Beliefs Religion

Grandmama Addams: Fester, You're not cheating!

Uncle Fester: Sorry.

(1914 – 1984) American actor
Honesty TV/Movie Quotes

Atheist: A man who has no invisible means of support.

(1875 – 1940) Scottish novelist, historian & Governor General of Canada
Beliefs Definitions Religion

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Beliefs Religion