Subject: Beliefs (Page 38)

He couldn't ad-lib a fart after a baked-bean dinner.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Beliefs Entertainment Insults Opinion People

The trouble with facts is that there are so many of them.

(1857 – 1927) Unitarian Universalist minister
Facts Science/Weather

I’m saying I can’t afford to make no donations to no Catholic charities. If you need the money that bad, wire the Pope, he’s got more money than God.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Beliefs Religion TV/Movie Quotes

Advice is like castor oil, easy to give, but dreadful to take.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Beliefs Characteristics Opinion

When a man tells me he’s going to put all his cards on the table, I always look up his sleeve.

(1893 – 1957) British politician
Beliefs Honesty Situations

Church: Man’s effort to keep a roof over God’s head.

Beliefs Definitions God

Liberty: Consists in giving everyone full right to mind everyone else’s business.

Beliefs Characteristics Definitions

Church is only society on earth that exists for the benefit of non-members.

(1881–1944) Archbishop of Canterbury
Beliefs Religion

The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.

(1911 – 1978) U.S. vice president & politician
Communication Intelligence Opinion

Where facts are few, experts are many.

Beliefs Facts

How many people died from the Kama Sutra, as opposed to the Bible?

(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director
Beliefs Death

The most radical revolutionary will become a conservative the day after the revolution.

(1906 – 1975) German-born American political theorist
Beliefs Government

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Characteristics Communication Language Truth

Praise does wonders for our sense of hearing.

(1905 –1998) American author
Beliefs Communication Opinion

He never relinquishes my disbelief.

professional football player
Beliefs Misspokements

I wanted to do a show about feminism… but my husband wouldn’t let me.


Beliefs

Statistics are no substitute for common sense.

Beliefs Facts

One could drive a schooner through any part of his argument and never scrape against a fact.

(1866 – 1940) academic, businessman & politician
Characteristics Facts Insults Truth

Fruit… it's just God showing off… “Look at all the colors I know!”

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Beliefs God

I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Beliefs Communication

There is one sure way of telling when politicians aren't telling the truth — their lips move.

(1946 – ) English actress
Characteristics Government Honesty Politicians Truth