Subject: Beliefs (Page 4)

Rich men without convictions are more dangerous in modern society than poor women without chastity.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Beliefs Money People Wealth

Liberal: Someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.

Beliefs Characteristics Definitions

I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics Past Situations Truth

The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind – a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you've just made a down payment on a house.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs God Places

It only rains straight down… God doesn't do windows.


God

The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics Honesty Truth

Liberal: A man who feel’s it’s his responsibility to spend a Conservative’s money.

Beliefs Definitions People

Jake: You lied to me.
Elwood: It wasn't a lie, it was just bullshit.

(1952 – ) Canadian comedian, actor, screenwriter & singer
Lies TV/Movie Quotes

My friend Phil was brought up Orthodox Jewish… he actually thought the New Testament was the paperback version of the Old Testament.

(1961 – ) comedian, writer, radio & television personality & blogger
Beliefs Religion

Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics Honesty Truth

Jesus loves you… He’s not ‘in love’ with you.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Beliefs Religion

An argument is a question with two sides and no end.

Beliefs Communication

The world is a place that’s gone from being flat to round to crooked.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Crime Honesty Places World

My mom’s Jewish and my dad’s Irish Catholic alcoholic, so I whine on the inside.

stand-up comedian, actor, writer & producer
Alcohol Beliefs

Clergyman: A ticket speculator outside the gates of Heaven.

Beliefs Definitions Occupations

The one prediction that never comes true is, “You’ll thank me for telling you this.”

(1938 – ) journalist, columnist (Miss Manners)
Beliefs Opinion

I wanted to do a show about feminism… but my husband wouldn’t let me.


Beliefs

O Lord, if there is a Lord, save my soul, if I have a soul.

(1823 – 1892) French philosopher & historian
Beliefs Religion

It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.

Beliefs People Religion Sex

I used to play golf with a guy who cheated so badly that he once had a hole in one and wrote down zero on his scorecard.

professional golfer
Characteristics Golf Honesty Sports

Trust everybody – but cut the cards.

(1867 – 1936) author & humorist
Characteristics Honesty