Subject: Beliefs (Page 40)

Gods like to see an atheist around… gives them something to aim at.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Beliefs God

If I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Beliefs Communication Misspokements Opinion Speech

It's not that I disagree with Bush's economic policy or his foreign policy, it's that I believe he was a child of Satan sent here to destroy the planet Earth.

(1961 – 1994) comedian
Beliefs Government Opinion Politics President

I don’t believe in astrology… I’m a Sagittarian, and we’re skeptical.

(1917 – ) English physicist & science fiction author
Beliefs Science/Weather

If you call on God to improve the results of a shot while it is still in motion, you are using “an outside agency” and subject to appropriate penalties under the rules of golf.

British golf writer & commentator
God Golf Sports

I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.

(1884 – 1972) 33rd U.S. president
Beliefs Children

I worship the quicksand he walks in.

(1925 – 2007) humorist & columnist
Beliefs Insults Language Opinion

Jesus loves you… He’s not ‘in love’ with you.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Beliefs Religion

The time to pray is not when we are in a tight spot but just as soon as we get out of it.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Beliefs Situations

God always has another custard pie up His sleeve.

(1943 – 2010) English actress
God Life TV/Movie Quotes

Any fool can tell the truth, but it requires a man of some sense to know how to lie well.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Characteristics Honesty Lies Truth

Spiritual is the word people use when they mean they want to be covered when they die but they’re not getting up early on a Sunday.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Beliefs Death Life

It has always been desirable to tell the truth, but seldom if ever necessary.

(1848 – 1930) British Conservative politician & statesman
Beliefs Honesty Truth

Pray, pray very much; but beware of telling god what you want.

Beliefs God Proverbs

Ever notice how people who believe in creationism look really unevolved?

(1961 – 1994) comedian
Appearance Beliefs Religion

Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats, then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Beliefs Sex

I took a test in Existentialism; I left all the answers blank and got 100.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Beliefs Opinion

A man's got to believe in something… and I believe I'll have another drink.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Beliefs Food/Drink Individuals

If God Loves Me, Why Can’t I Get My Locker Open?

Beliefs Book Titles God

A young man is a theory, an old man is a fact.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Age Facts Old Young