Subject: Beliefs (Page 41)

My friend Phil was brought up Orthodox Jewish… he actually thought the New Testament was the paperback version of the Old Testament.

(1961 – ) comedian, writer, radio & television personality & blogger
Beliefs Religion

Where facts are few, experts are many.

Beliefs Facts

The devil is the father of lies, but he neglected to patent the idea, and the business now suffers from competition.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Beliefs Honesty Lies

A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one Year and out the other.

Beliefs Communication Language

An atheist is one who hopes the Lord will do nothing to disturb his disbelief.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Beliefs God

USA Today has come out with a new survey; apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Facts People Science/Weather

Unfortunately, the people of Louisiana are not racists.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Beliefs Misspokements People Places

Conservative: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions

How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs Characteristics Clothing

The louder he talked of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher
Characteristics Honesty

Don’t be discouraged if your children reject your advice; years later they will offer it to their offspring.

Beliefs Children Family Opinion

White Lie: Aversion of the truth.

Beliefs Definitions Honesty Lies Truth

I never cease being dumbfounded by the unbelievable things people believe.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Beliefs People

Honesty is a good thing, but it is not profitable to its possessor unless it is kept under control.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Characteristics Honesty

MSI Owner Denies Lying, Admits Not Telling Truth

Headlines Lies

Sacred cows make the best hamburger.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Food/Drink Opinion

In modern business it is not the crook who is to be feared most, it is the honest man who doesn't know what he is doing.

(1874 – 1962) American industrialist, lawyer & diplomat
Honesty Work

Radical: Anyone whose opinion differs from ours.

Beliefs Definitions People

I have noticed even people who claim everything is predestined, and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road.

(1942 – 2018) English physicist
Beliefs Life People

Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws Truth

A bunch of money-grubbin', greenhouse-gassing, seal-clubbing, oil-drilling, Bible-thumping, missile-firing, right-to-life-ing, lethal-injecting hypocrites, whose idea of a good time is strapping a dead panda to a Lincoln Navigator and running over everybody in the gay parade.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Beliefs Government People Politics