Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Beliefs
(Page 42)
Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any.
Anonymous
Beliefs
Sex
Air
If I’m on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast… if God wants to play through, let him.
Bob Hope
(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
God
Golf
Sports
Lightning
History is a pack of lies we play on the dead.
Voltaire
(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
History
Lies
Time
Communism doesn’t work because people like to own stuff.
Frank Zappa
(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director
Beliefs
People
Things
Communism
Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
Anonymous
Beliefs
Communication
Exaggerations
Oxymorons
Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs
Definitions
Faith
Knowledge
Religion – it’s given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.
Jon Stewart
(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Beliefs
Religion
My wife said: ‘I want an explanation and I want the truth.’ I said: ‘Make up your mind.’
Henny Youngman
(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Communication
Honesty
Marriage
Truth
Wives
Explanations
Gods like to see an atheist around… gives them something to aim at.
Terry Pratchett
(1948 – ) English novelist
Beliefs
God
Atheists
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