Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Beliefs
(Page 42)
If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?
Billy Connolly
(1942 – ) Scottish comedian, musician & actor
Beliefs
Characteristics
Religion
Jesus
Names
Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
Proverb
Beliefs
Proverbs
Rain dance
Timing
It is a secret in the Oxford sense; you may tell it to only one person at a time.
Oliver Franks
(1905 – 1992) English civil servant & philosopher
Beliefs
Knowledge
Secrets
I pledge allegiance to the Christian flag, and to the Savior, for whose Kingdom it stands, one Savior, crucified, risen, and coming again, with life and liberty for all who believe.
Dan Quayle
(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Beliefs
Misspokements
Religion
Christianity
Free advice is worth the price.
Robert Half
businessman
Beliefs
Money
Opinion
Price
Jolson's ego was so big he could have given the Lord himself an inferiority complex.
George Burns
(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Characteristics
God
Al Jolson
Egotism
I'm part of the Jehovah's Witness Protection Program; I have to go door-to-door and tell everybody I'm somebody else.
Steven Wright
(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Beliefs
Jehovah's Witnesses
I think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.
Oscar Wilde
(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Beliefs
God
People
Ability
Overestimation
If God had intended us to go around naked, He would have made us that way.
Olum's Observation
Appearance
Beliefs
Clothing
God
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