Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Beliefs
(Page 42)
Church: Man’s effort to keep a roof over God’s head.
Anonymous
Beliefs
Definitions
God
During Passover, the angel of death passed over the Jews – an event that, up until the late 1950s, was re-enacted every year by Ivy League colleges and suburban country clubs.
Jon Stewart
(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Beliefs
Religion
Angel of Death
Jews
Passover
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
George Burns
(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Communication
Religion
Speech
Beginning
Ending
Sermons
Wouldn't it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers?
Nick DiPaolo
(1962 – ) American stand-up comedian, writer, actor & radio host
Beliefs
Health
Religion
AIDS
Televangelists
An apology for the devil: it must be remembered that we have heard only one side of the case; God has written all the books.
Samuel Butler
(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Beliefs
Books
God
Devil
The Bible declares that on the sixth day God created man; right then and there, God should have demanded a damage deposit.
Jim Hightower
(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Beliefs
God
People
The Bible
Conservative: A liberal who has just been mugged.
Anonymous
Beliefs
Definitions
Conservative
Liberal
Anything asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence.
Hitchens’ Razor
Beliefs
Facts
Murphy’s Laws
Evidence
Archbishop: An ecclesiastical dignitary one point holier than a bishop.
Anonymous
Definitions
Religion
Archbishop
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