Subject: Beliefs (Page 5)

The play opened at 8:40 sharp and closed at 10:40 dull.

(1918 – 2001) American sportswriter, commentator & actor
Entertainment Opinion

It ain’t German to the conversation. It ain’t supposed to make sense; it’s faith. Faith is something that you believe that nobody in his right mind would believe.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Beliefs Malaprops TV/Movie Quotes

If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right.

(1863 – 1947) automobile industrialist
Beliefs Situations

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
God Men People Things

It is always the best policy to speak the truth…` unless, of course you are an exceptionally good liar.

(1859 – 1927) English writer
Beliefs Honesty Truth

There is no question that there is an unseen world; the problem is, how far is it from midtown and how late is it open?

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs Places

Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.

(1931 – ) Irish-American actor, writer & politician
Beliefs

I can prove anything with statistics except the truth.

(1770 – 1827) British statesman, politician & prime minister
Beliefs Honesty Truth

The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways; but he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Beliefs God Science/Weather

There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.

Characteristics Honesty Lies Science/Weather

The difference between God and the historians consists above all in the fact that God cannot alter the past.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Beliefs God History Time

1. In dealing with their “own” problems, faculty members are the most extreme conservatives 2. In dealing with “other” people's problems, they are the world's most extreme liberals.

Beliefs Government Murphy’s Laws Situations

People that put up Christmas decorations, all they’re saying is ‘Hey, we’re not Jews.’

(1957 – ) American comedian
Beliefs Religion Situations

If Attila the Hun were alive today, he’d be a drama critic.

(1928 – ) playwright
Beliefs Opinion

If you don't like my opinion of you – improve yourself!

Beliefs Insults Opinion

It ain't supposed to make sense; it's faith; faith is something that you believe that nobody in his right mind would believe.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Beliefs

The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Beliefs People Religion

… you're so crooked that if you swallowed a nail you'd shit a corkscrew.

(1898 – 1979) British military commander
Honesty Insults

Never mess up an apology with an excuse.

Beliefs Proverbs

Show me a man who lives alone and has a perpetually clean kitchen, and 8 times out of 9 I’ll show you a man with detestable spiritual qualities.

(1920 – 1994) German-born author & poet
Beliefs Housework

My shrink told me it was pointless to believe in myself.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Beliefs Self