Subject: Beliefs (Page 5)

Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.

(1958 – ) American writer, comedian, satirist & actor
Beliefs

Diplomacy: The patriotic art of lying for one’s country.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Lies

A good novel tells us the truth about it's hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Books Characteristics Communication Honesty Reading/Writing Truth

I have learned from my mistakes, and I am sure I can repeat them exactly.

(1937 – 1995) English satirist, writer & comedian
Beliefs

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

Activities Autos Beliefs Problems Proverbs Travel

I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics Past Situations Truth

An easily understood, workable falsehood is more useful than a complex, incomprehensible truth.

Characteristics Honesty Intelligence Lies Murphy’s Laws Truth

Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?

(1964 – ) comedian, political satirist, writer & television host
Beliefs Characteristics Religion

I don't want someone shoving his views down my throat, unless they're covered in a crunchy candy shell.

(1964 – ) comedian, political satirist, writer & television host
Beliefs Food/Drink Opinion

Ours is a world where people don't know what they want and are willing to go through hell to get it.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Beliefs People World

I’m an Atheist… thank God.

(1936 – 2005) Irish comedian
Beliefs God Religion Wordplay

I'm Jewish, and I experience a lot of racism as a Jew, probably even more than most Jews 'cause I'm a moneylender.

(1972 – ) stand-up comedian & writer
Beliefs Religion

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake.

(1864 –1945) Anglo-Scottish socialite, author & wit
Characteristics Honesty Insults Lies People

Reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Beliefs Religion

A liberal is one who has both feet planted firmly in the air.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
Beliefs Government

Faith: Not wanting to know what is true.

(1844 – 1900) German philosopher
Beliefs Definitions

The difference between a saint and a hypocrite is that one lies for his religion, the other by it.

(1861 – 1950) American writer
Beliefs Religion

In order to preserve your self-respect, it is sometimes necessary to lie and cheat.

(1930 – ) American author and billiard player, teacher & commentator
Characteristics Honesty Lies

Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.

(1945 – 2010) American comedian & actor
Characteristics Honesty Intelligence

I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Beliefs Communication

Church: Man’s effort to keep a roof over God’s head.

Beliefs Definitions God