Subject: Beliefs (Page 5)

Ridiculous stereotypes often make people very ignorant towards other nationalities. For example, I’m in good shape, intelligent, and I don’t have sex with my cousins, and yet still people assume I’m American.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Beliefs People Religion

Telling lies does not work in advertising.

(1909 – 1966) Polish poet, writer & aphorist
Characteristics Honesty Lies

It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends on his not understanding it.

(1878 – 1968) American author
Beliefs Intelligence

Sex is God's joke on human beings.

(1908 – 1989) American actress of film, television & theater
Beliefs God People Sex

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Alcohol Beer Emotions Food/Drink God Happiness

The trouble with born-again Christians is that they are an even bigger pain the second time around.

(1916 – 1997) newspaper journalist
Beliefs Religion

Clergyman: A ticket speculator outside the gates of Heaven.

Beliefs Definitions Occupations

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Characteristics Communication Language Truth

How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs Characteristics Clothing

A liberal is a conservative who has been arrested.

(1931 – ) American author & journalist
Beliefs Conflict Law People

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.

(1894 – 1963) English writer
Beliefs Facts

If you call on God to improve the results of a shot while it is still in motion, you are using “an outside agency” and subject to appropriate penalties under the rules of golf.

British golf writer & commentator
God Golf Sports

Anyone who tells a lie has not a pure heart. and cannot make a good soup.

(1770 – 1827) German composer & pianist
Beliefs Honesty Lies

It is common sense to take a method and try it… if it fails, admit it frankly and try another; but above all, try something.

(1882 – 1945) 32nd U.S. president
Beliefs Success

If you are not an idealist by the time you are twenty you don’t have a heart, but if you are still an idealist by thirty you don’t have a head.

(1886 – 1918) American progressive writer & intellectual
Beliefs

Suicide is man's way of telling God, "You can't fire me – I quit."

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Beliefs Death God

I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold ‘em under long enough.

(1944 – ) American singer, songwriter, novelist, humorist, politician & columnist
Beliefs Religion

Agnostic: A person who says that he knows nothing about God and, when you agree with him, he becomes angry.

Beliefs Definitions God

Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Beliefs Communication God Health Speech

GOD Talks 2 U? There Is Medication For That.

Beliefs God

Statistics are no substitute for common sense.

Beliefs Facts