Subject: Beliefs (Page 6)

A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.

(1844 – 1900) German philosopher

Though I am not naturally honest, I am so sometimes by chance.

(1564 – 1616) English dramatist & poet

God is not dead but alive and working on a much less ambitious project.

It’s hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)

Book Of Ecclesiasticles

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

The tombstone is about the only thing that can stand upright and lie on its face at the same time.

(1880 – ?) American author

A conservative is someone who demands a square deal for the rich.

(1939 – ) British journalist, comedian, writer & media personality

Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's rainin'!

A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.

(1867 – 1936) author & humorist

Fine words! … I wonder where you stole them.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist

Man was predestined to have free will.

I would not want Jimmy Carter and his men in charge of snake control in Ireland.

(1916 – 2005) American politician & poet

If God wanted us to believe in him, he’d exist.

(1958 – 2006) English radio performer, stand-up comic & writer

The trouble with giving advice is that people want to repay you.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist

Scriptures: The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

Men don't get cellulite — God might just be a man.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

Good Advice: What a man gives when he gets too old to set a bad example.

Eighty percent of all people consider themselves to be above average drivers.

Everybody lies; but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

Reporter: A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a tempest of words.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

As long as we are lucky we attribute it to our smartness; our bad luck we give the gods credit for.

(1818 – 1885) humorist