Subject: Beliefs (Page 6)

The public is always wrong.

Parents are embarrassed when their children tell lies, and even more embarrassed when they tell the truth.

I’m still not sure if I understand ambiguity.

Every day, people are straying away from the Church and going back to God.

(1923 – 1966) stand-up comedian, writer, social critic & satirist

The truth may be out there, but the lies are inside your head.

(1948 – ) English novelist

I have a bit of advice for hungry young comedians – eat something.

(1921 – 1984) British comedian & magician

It’s easier to fool people than to convince them they’ve been fooled.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

Don't squat with your spurs on.

Conservative: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

I think that people who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor

The only thing God didn't do to Job was give him a computer.

(1907 – 1989) American writer

It only rains straight down… God doesn't do windows.


A liberal is a conservative who has been arrested.

(1931 – ) American author & journalist

The pug is living proof that God has a sense of humor.

(1954 – 2000) humorist, writer & radio commentator

My Opinions Change With New Information

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.

(1894 – 1963) English writer

The opposite for courage is not cowardice, it is conformity… even a dead fish can go with the flow.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author

Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

God is not dead but alive and working on a much less ambitious project.

The world is moving so fast these days that the man who says it can't be done is generally interrupted by someone doing it.

(1878 – 1969) clergyman

Religion is basically guilt with different holidays.

American stand-up comedian, television writer & actor