Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Beliefs
(Page 6)
The public is always wrong.
Stock Market Axiom
Beliefs
Murphy’s Laws
People
Parents are embarrassed when their children tell lies, and even more embarrassed when they tell the truth.
Anonymous
Children
Communication
Family
Honesty
Lies
Speech
Truth
Embarrassment
I’m still not sure if I understand ambiguity.
Anonymous
Beliefs
Opinion
Ambiguity
Oxymorons
Every day, people are straying away from the Church and going back to God.
Lenny Bruce
(1923 – 1966) stand-up comedian, writer, social critic & satirist
Beliefs
God
Religion
Churches
The truth may be out there, but the lies are inside your head.
Terry Pratchett
(1948 – ) English novelist
Characteristics
Honesty
Intelligence
Truth
Head
I have a bit of advice for hungry young comedians – eat something.
Tommy Cooper
(1921 – 1984) British comedian & magician
Beliefs
Opinion
Advice
Comedians
It’s easier to fool people than to convince them they’ve been fooled.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs
Honesty
Don't squat with your spurs on.
Texas proverb
Beliefs
Proverbs
Situations
Spurs
Conservative: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs
Definitions
Conservatives
Liberals
I think that people who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.
Jerry Seinfeld
(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Communication
Lies
Reading/Writing
Newspapers
Tabloids
The only thing God didn't do to Job was give him a computer.
I.F. Stone
(1907 – 1989) American writer
Beliefs
Computers
God
Things
Job
Trouble
It only rains straight down… God doesn't do windows.
Rod Schmidt
God
Rain
Windows
A liberal is a conservative who has been arrested.
Tom Wolfe
(1931 – ) American author & journalist
Beliefs
Conflict
Law
People
Conservatives
Liberals
The pug is living proof that God has a sense of humor.
Margo Kaufman
(1954 – 2000) humorist, writer & radio commentator
Animals
Beliefs
Dogs
God
Humor
Pugs
My Opinions Change With New Information
Protest sign
Beliefs
Opinion
Signs
Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
Aldous Huxley
(1894 – 1963) English writer
Beliefs
Facts
The opposite for courage is not cowardice, it is conformity… even a dead fish can go with the flow.
Jim Hightower
(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Beliefs
Characteristics
Conformity
Courage
Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
Anonymous
Age
Beliefs
Honesty
Lies
God is not dead but alive and working on a much less ambitious project.
Anonymous
Beliefs
God
The world is moving so fast these days that the man who says it can't be done is generally interrupted by someone doing it.
Harry Emerson Fosdick
(1878 – 1969) clergyman
Activities
Beliefs
Opinion
Time
Religion is basically guilt with different holidays.
Cathy Ladman
American stand-up comedian, television writer & actor
Beliefs
Religion
Guilt
Holidays
Page 6 of 42
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