Subject: Beliefs (Page 6)

A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.

(1844 – 1900) German philosopher
Beliefs

Though I am not naturally honest, I am so sometimes by chance.

(1564 – 1616) English dramatist & poet
Characteristics Honesty

God is not dead but alive and working on a much less ambitious project.

Beliefs God

It’s hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Beliefs People Religion

Book Of Ecclesiasticles

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Beliefs Malaprops

The tombstone is about the only thing that can stand upright and lie on its face at the same time.

(1880 – ?) American author
Beliefs Honesty Lies Things

A conservative is someone who demands a square deal for the rich.

(1939 – ) British journalist, comedian, writer & media personality
Beliefs

Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's rainin'!

Characteristics Expressions Honesty

A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.

(1867 – 1936) author & humorist
Beliefs God

Fine words! … I wonder where you stole them.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist
Characteristics Communication Honesty Insults

Man was predestined to have free will.

Beliefs

I would not want Jimmy Carter and his men in charge of snake control in Ireland.

(1916 – 2005) American politician & poet
Beliefs Insults Opinion

If God wanted us to believe in him, he’d exist.

(1958 – 2006) English radio performer, stand-up comic & writer
Beliefs God

The trouble with giving advice is that people want to repay you.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Beliefs

Scriptures: The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions Religion

Men don't get cellulite — God might just be a man.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Beliefs God Men

Good Advice: What a man gives when he gets too old to set a bad example.

Beliefs Definitions Opinion

Eighty percent of all people consider themselves to be above average drivers.

Beliefs Driving Murphy’s Laws Opinion People

Everybody lies; but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

Characteristics Communication Honesty Lies Murphy’s Laws

Reporter: A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a tempest of words.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Occupations People Truth

As long as we are lucky we attribute it to our smartness; our bad luck we give the gods credit for.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
God Intelligence Wisdom