Subject: Beliefs (Page 7)

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs God Opinion

Hell is full of musical amateurs.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Beliefs Music People

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

Activities Autos Beliefs Problems Proverbs Travel

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.

(1942 – ) American author and teacher
Beliefs Opinion

Once again, we come to the holiday season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Activities Beliefs Religion Shopping

I do not mind lying, but I hate inaccuracy.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Characteristics Honesty Lies

Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions

The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways; but he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Beliefs God Science/Weather

The stopwatch has stopped. It's up to God and the referee now. The referee is Pat Horan. God is God.

Irish Gaelic games commentator
God Sports

For every little kid who still believes in Santa Claus, there is at least one adult who still believes in professional wrestling.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Activities Beliefs Entertainment

Diplomacy: The patriotic art of lying for one’s country.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Lies

It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.

Beliefs People Religion Sex

Nobody outside of a baby carriage or a judge’s chamber believes in an unprejudiced point of view.

(1905 –1984) American playwright
Beliefs Opinion

Sacred cows make the best hamburger.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Food/Drink Opinion

Righteous indignation: Your own wrath as opposed to the shocking bad temper of others.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Beliefs Religion

The only way a reporter should look at a politician is down.

Government Murphy’s Laws Opinion Politicians

When one guy sees an invisible man he’s a nut case; ten people see him it’s a cult; ten million people see him it’s a respected religion.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Beliefs Characteristics God Intelligence Religion

Never believe anything until it's been officially denied.

Beliefs Communication

Theology is the effort to explain the unknowable in terms of the not worth knowing.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Beliefs Religion Science/Weather

I like the Ten Commandments, but there’s a problem with the ninth one; it should be: ‘Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s ox – except in Scrabble."

(1975 – ) Irish comedian, author, musician, actor & playwright
Beliefs Religion

A woman will lie about anything, just to stay in practice.

(1888 – 1959) detective novelist & screenwriter
Characteristics Honesty Lies People Women