Subject: Beliefs (Page 7)

Very sorry can't come; lie follows by post.

(1846 – 1919) British Admiral & member of Parliament
Characteristics Honesty Lies

Tact: To lie about others as you would have them lie about you.

(1863 – 1935) British-born American writer, artist & illustrator
Beliefs Honesty Lies

Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.

(1935 – ) screenwriter, author, director & producer
Beliefs Intelligence

Trust everybody – but cut the cards.

(1867 – 1936) author & humorist
Characteristics Honesty

Everyone’s a pacifist between wars; it’s like being a vegetarian between meals.

(1938 – ) American journalist, teacher, lecturer & pacifist
Beliefs Conflict War

First night, you get socks; second night, an eraser, a notebook – it’s a back to school holiday.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Beliefs Religion Situations

If God had intended us to go around naked, He would have made us that way.

Appearance Beliefs Clothing God

A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Beliefs Children Family Parents Religion

There are two kinds of truth: there are real truths, and there are made up truths.

(1936 – ) American politician, Mayor of Washington, D.C.
Characteristics Honesty Lies Truth

Generally the theories we believe we call facts, and the facts we disbelieve we call theories.

(1907 – 1953) American lawyer & scholar
Beliefs Facts

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Characteristics Insults Opinion

It's not that I disagree with Bush's economic policy or his foreign policy, it's that I believe he was a child of Satan sent here to destroy the planet Earth.

(1961 – 1994) comedian
Beliefs Government Opinion Politics President

Gods like to see an atheist around… gives them something to aim at.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Beliefs God

That's still how Irish people are seen, as twinkly-eyed f**kers with a pig under their arm, high-stepping it around the world, going 'I'll paint your house now, but watch out, I might steal the ladder later, ohohoho!' – which is only half true!

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Beliefs Places

If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Beliefs Characteristics God

If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?

(1942 – ) Scottish comedian, musician & actor
Beliefs Characteristics Religion

Grandmama Addams: Fester, You're not cheating!

Uncle Fester: Sorry.

(1914 – 1984) American actor
Honesty TV/Movie Quotes

Anyone who says the truth shall set you free has never been to traffic court.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Characteristics Truth

Let my people go!

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Beliefs Religion

I don’t believe in sceptics.

British writer, actor, comic & television & radio presenter
Beliefs People

If there's one thing I know it's God does love a good joke.

blogger (Standing Room Only)
Beliefs Emotions God