Subject: Beliefs (Page 8)

Religion is basically guilt with different holidays.

American stand-up comedian, television writer & actor
Beliefs Religion

Eighty percent of all people consider themselves to be above average drivers.

Beliefs Driving Murphy’s Laws Opinion People

Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance or a stranger.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Beliefs Opinion

Having the critics praise you is like having the hangman say you’ve got a pretty neck.

(1915 – ) American film, television & stage actor
Beliefs Entertainment Opinion

The greatest American superstition is belief in facts.

(1880 – 1946) Baltic German philosopher
America Beliefs Facts Places

It's not that I disagree with Bush's economic policy or his foreign policy, it's that I believe he was a child of Satan sent here to destroy the planet Earth.

(1961 – 1994) comedian
Beliefs Government Opinion Politics President

My family wasn’t very religious; on Hanukkah, they had a menorah on a dimmer.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Beliefs Religion

Catholics don't get divorced; they stay together through anger and hatred and festering misery, just like God intended.

(1953 – ) American comedian & actor
Divorce Marriage Religion

I believe our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Animals Beliefs God People

Isn't it great to live in a society where the penalty for lying to a congressman can be up to 30 years in jail, but the penalty for a congressman lying to you is another two years in office.

(1955 – ) American sportswriter
Beliefs Congress Golf Government Honesty Law Lies

People will believe anything if you whisper it.

Beliefs Communication Murphy’s Laws

Someone certainly has a high opinion of their opinion.

(1959 – ) American actor
Beliefs Opinion TV/Movie Quotes

Actions lie louder than words.

(1862 – 1942) American author & poet
Beliefs Honesty Lies

Practical politics consists in ignoring facts.

(1838 – 1918) journalist, historian, academic & novelist
Beliefs Facts Government Politics

There's one way to find out if a man is honest – ask him… if he says, “Yes,” you know he is a crook.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Characteristics Honesty People

I’ll tell you what’s unnatural in the eyes of God… contact lenses.

(1971 – ) British comedian
Beliefs God

Euphemism is a euphemism for lying.

(Roberta Lee Streeter) (1944 – ) American singer-songwriter
Characteristics Honesty Lies

The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they’re ignorant; it’s just that they know so much that isn’t so.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Beliefs Government Politics

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return; it's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.

(1917 – ) English physicist & science fiction author
Characteristics Honesty Money

If God wanted us to believe in him, he’d exist.

(1958 – 2006) English radio performer, stand-up comic & writer
Beliefs God

USA Today has come out with a new survey; apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Facts People Science/Weather