Subject: Beliefs » Religion (Page 2)

My wife and I did the Jewish divorce custom where we took a broken glass and we put it back together.

(1978 – ) American stand-up comedian
Beliefs Divorce Religion

Megachurches – I can’t be the only one frightened when our houses of worship sound like they could take on Godzilla.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Beliefs Religion

I do benefits for all religions – I’d hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Beliefs Life Religion

What does an atheist say during an orgasm?

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Beliefs Religion Sex

The only thing wrong with being an atheist is that there's nobody to talk to during an orgasm.

Beliefs Religion Sex

Heaven: The Coney Island of the Christian imagination.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Beliefs Religion

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

Education Religion School

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to the garage makes you a car.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Autos Beliefs Religion Things

I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.

(1946 – ) filmmaker, actor & writer
Religion Sex

Religion – it’s given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Beliefs Religion

A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Beliefs Children Family Parents Religion

B’nai Briss

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Beliefs Malaprops Religion

Monastery: Consecration camp.

Definitions Religion

I am determined that my children shall be brought up in their father’s religion, if they can find out what it is.

(1775 – 1834) English critic & essayist
Beliefs Children Family Fathers Religion

If you have the Old Testament at home, if you flip the corner pages, you can see Jesus riding a horse.

(1955 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Beliefs Religion

I guess the biggest issue my husband and I are going to have is how do we raise the baby… because he’s Jewish and I’m Protestant and the baby’s father is Catholic.

Canadian-American comedian & writer
Beliefs Children Family Fathers Marriage Religion

I like Jesus, but he loves me, so it's awkward.

Canadian comedian
Beliefs Religion

You do a lot of praying, but most of the time the answer is “no.”

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Religion Sports

I love seeing [the Pope] in his Pope-Mobile, his three feet of bullet proof plexi-glass… that’s faith in action folks; you know he’s got God on his side.

(1961 – 1994) comedian
Beliefs Religion

The sheer immensity of the human self as envisioned by the world's religions is awesome.

(1919 – ) American religious studies scholar
Beliefs People Religion Self

I'm going to marry a Jewish woman because I like the idea of getting up Sunday morning and going to the deli.

(1961 – ) Canadian–American actor, voice actor, author, producer & activist
Beliefs Marriage Religion Situations