Subject: Beliefs » Religion (Page 3)

I'm looking for loopholes.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Beliefs Reading/Writing Religion

They always throw around this term 'the liberal elite,' and I kept thinking to myself about the Christian right; what's more elite than believing that only you will go to heaven?

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Beliefs Government Politics Religion

O Lord, if there is a Lord, save my soul, if I have a soul.

(1823 – 1892) French philosopher & historian
Beliefs Religion

I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Religion Situations

Basically, the Catholic religion is 'If it feels good – stop.’

American actor & comedian
Beliefs Religion

The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Beliefs People Religion

Life in Lubbock, Texas taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell; the other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth, and you should save it for someone you love.

(1945 – ) American country/folk musician & song writer
Beliefs Life Places Religion Sex

There hasn’t been a more effeminate Jew in the closet since Anne Frank.

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality
Beliefs Religion

The difference between a saint and a hypocrite is that one lies for his religion, the other by it.

(1861 – 1950) American writer
Beliefs Religion

I’m Catholic in the same way, that if a cow was born in a tree, it’s a bird!

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Beliefs Religion

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it’s open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Appearance Clothing Golf People Religion Sports

During Passover, the angel of death passed over the Jews – an event that, up until the late 1950s, was re-enacted every year by Ivy League colleges and suburban country clubs.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Beliefs Religion

I am determined that my children shall be brought up in their father’s religion, if they can find out what it is.

(1775 – 1834) English critic & essayist
Beliefs Family Fathers Religion

Atheist: A man who has no invisible means of support.

(1875 – 1940) Scottish novelist, historian & Governor General of Canada
Beliefs Definitions Religion

Religion is basically guilt with different holidays.

American stand-up comedian, television writer & actor
Beliefs Religion

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Beliefs God Religion

I definitely want Brooklyn [his daughter] to be Christened, but I don't know into what religion yet.

professional football player
Beliefs Misspokements Religion

I’m saying I can’t afford to make no donations to no Catholic charities. If you need the money that bad, wire the Pope, he’s got more money than God.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Beliefs Religion TV/Movie Quotes

A short summary of every Jewish holiday: “They tried to kill us; we won; let’s eat!”

(1927 – 2004) American comedian & actor
Beliefs Religion

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to the garage makes you a car.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Autos Beliefs Religion Things

I am determined that my children shall be brought up in their father’s religion, if they can find out what it is.

(1775 – 1834) English critic & essayist
Beliefs Children Family Fathers Religion