Subject: Beliefs » Religion (Page 3)

Satan: The scarecrow in the religious cornfield.

Beliefs Definitions Religion

It is impossible to believe that the same God who permitted His own son to die a bachelor regards celibacy as an actual sin.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Beliefs God Religion Sex

First night, you get socks; second night, an eraser, a notebook – it’s a back to school holiday.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Beliefs Religion Situations

Heaven: The Coney Island of the Christian imagination.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Beliefs Religion

Jesus was a Jew, yes, but only on his mother’s side.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Beliefs Misspokements Religion

Just unfollowed the Pope for the second time in my life.

(1973 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actor, director & producer
Beliefs Religion

Birth Control is Sinful in the Christian Marriages and also Robbing God of Priesthood Children!!

Book Titles Religion

Hell is easy to define; it would be spending eternity with Evangelicals.

American judge & lawyer
Beliefs Opinion People Religion

More people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Beliefs Intelligence Religion

I'm looking for loopholes.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Beliefs Reading/Writing Religion

Atheist: A man who has no invisible means of support.

(1875 – 1940) Scottish novelist, historian & Governor General of Canada
Beliefs Definitions Religion

We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Appearance Characteristics Children Intelligence Religion Wives

Jesus loves you… He’s not ‘in love’ with you.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Beliefs Religion

Christian: A man who feels repentance on a Sunday for what he did on Saturday and is going to do on Monday.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions Religion

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Beliefs God Religion

O Lord, if there is a Lord, save my soul, if I have a soul.

(1823 – 1892) French philosopher & historian
Beliefs Religion

Christian: One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbors. 

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions Religion

Man will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest.

(1713 – 1784) French philosopher, art critic & writer
Beliefs Government Religion

An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support.

(1895 – 1979) American archbishop of the Catholic Church
Beliefs Definitions Religion

He made us all one true religion, Edith, which he named after his son, Christian – or Christ, for short.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Beliefs Religion TV/Movie Quotes

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Communication Religion Speech