Subject: Beliefs » Religion (Page 5)

In England there are sixty different religions and only one sauce.

(1563 – 1608) Italian Catholic priest
Beliefs Cooking England Food/Drink Places Religion

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Beliefs Music Religion

My friend Phil was brought up Orthodox Jewish… he actually thought the New Testament was the paperback version of the Old Testament.

(1961 – ) comedian, writer, radio & television personality & blogger
Beliefs Religion

Every day, people are straying away from the Church and going back to God.

(1923 – 1966) stand-up comedian, writer, social critic & satirist
Beliefs God Religion

Let's face it, show business is run by 2,000 Jews and Oprah, and she lives next door to Spielberg, which makes her Jewish by association.

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor, director & author
Beliefs Entertainment People Religion

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it’s open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Appearance Clothing Golf People Religion Sports

What does an atheist say during an orgasm?

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Beliefs Religion Sex

Hell is easy to define; it would be spending eternity with Evangelicals.

American judge & lawyer
Beliefs Opinion People Religion

Going to war over religion, is basically just killing people in an argument over who has the better imaginary friend.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Beliefs Conflict Killing Religion War

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Beliefs Religion

Man will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest.

(1713 – 1784) French philosopher, art critic & writer
Beliefs Government Religion

Our loss is their loss.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Beliefs Insults Religion

I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Religion Situations

Raise him a Luferan if you want, raise him a Norman with 7 wives, a holy roller, a Seventh Day Adventurer…

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops Religion

I definitely want Brooklyn [his daughter] to be Christened, but I don't know into what religion yet.

professional football player
Beliefs Misspokements Religion

B’nai Briss

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Beliefs Malaprops Religion

I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on Saturday and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on Saturday.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs Religion

If you have the Old Testament at home, if you flip the corner pages, you can see Jesus riding a horse.

(1955 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Beliefs Religion

When you ever hear girls say that "I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual," I like to reply with "I'm not honest, but you're interesting!

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Beliefs Characteristics Honesty Religion

I'm still an atheist, thank God.

(1900 – 1983) Spanish filmmaker
Beliefs Religion Wordplay

There hasn’t been a more effeminate Jew in the closet since Anne Frank.

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality
Beliefs Religion