Subject: Characteristics (Page 10)

I always take my wife morning tea in my pajamas, but is she grateful?… no, she says she'd rather have it in a cup.

(1926 – 1984) English comedian
Characteristics Clothing

Advice is like castor oil, easy to give, but dreadful to take.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Beliefs Characteristics Opinion

I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Characteristics Honesty

Misery no longer loves company; nowadays it insists on it.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
Characteristics Emotions

With a black president, I can relax…I can dance in public… I can buy a whole watermelon now.

(1964 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actress, television host
Characteristics Government President Situations

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Body Characteristics Money Work

Men are pigs; too bad we own everything.

(1953 – ) comedian & actor
Characteristics Men People

A woman who strives to be like a man lacks ambition.

Characteristics Men People Women

As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time well knows, cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the human kind.

(1917 – 1998) author, critic, animal rights activist
Animals Cats Characteristics People

Good taste is the worst vice ever invented.

(1887 – 1964) English biographer, critic, novelist & poet
Characteristics Old Opinion

Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted.

(1894 – 1963) English writer
Characteristics Miscellaneous

Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Characteristics Education Learning

Well at least he has finally found his true love… what a pity he can’t marry himself.

(1915 – 1998) American singer & actor
Characteristics Insults

Girls, give all your gentlemen friends an even break, even if you have to break them in the attempt.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Characteristics Men

He who slings mud generally loses ground.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
Characteristics Communication

Hope is the feeling you have that the feeling you have isn't permanent.

(1922 – 2003) author & playwright
Characteristics Time

I smoke in moderation, only one cigar at a time.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics

There are some people that if they don’t know, you can’t tell ‘em.

(1901 – 1971) American jazz trumpeter and singer
Characteristics People

If only I had a little humility, I would be perfect.

(1938 – ) American businessman & baseball team owner
Characteristics

I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Characteristics

I’m too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don’t know.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Characteristics Communication Sex