Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Characteristics
(Page 10)
Acting is all about honesty and if you can fake that, you've got it made.
George Burns
(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Acting
Characteristics
Entertainment
Honesty
Faking
In any group of eagles, you will find some turkeys.
Allaln’s Theorem
Characteristics
Murphy’s Laws
Allan Guerrina
Telling lies does not work in advertising.
Stanisław Lec
(1909 – 1966) Polish poet, writer & aphorist
Characteristics
Honesty
Lies
Advertising
He has committed every crime that does not require courage.
Benjamin Disraeli
(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author
Characteristics
Crime
Insults
About Irish politician Daniel O'Connell
Courage
[Charm] is a way of getting the answer yes without having asked any clear question
Albert Camus
(1913 – 1960) French-Algerian author, philosopher & journalist
Characteristics
Charm
Heaven goes by favor; for if it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Animals
Beliefs
Characteristics
Dogs
Favor
Heaven
Merit
Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
Oscar Wilde
(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics
Opinion
People
Agree
The ladies looked one another over with microscopic carelessness.
Arthur ‘Bugs’ Baer
(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Characteristics
Situations
Observation
He turned out to be so many different characters he could have populated all of War and Peace and still had a few people left over.
Herbert Mitgang
(1920 – ) author, editor, journalist, playwright & television producer
Characteristics
About Lyndon Johnson
Personality
To enjoy a good reputation give publicly, and steal privately.
Josh Billings
(1818 – 1885) humorist
Characteristics
Good
Reputation
There is one sure way of telling when politicians aren't telling the truth — their lips move.
Felicity Kendall
(1946 – ) English actress
Characteristics
Government
Honesty
Politicians
Truth
Lips
I would rather be an opportunist and float than go to the bottom with my principles round my neck.
Stanley Baldwin
(1867 – 1947) British politician
Characteristics
Self
Principles
If an ass goes a-traveling, he'll not come home a horse.
African proverb
Characteristics
Proverbs
Situations
I’m not being condescending, I’m too busy thinking about far more important things you wouldn’t understand.
Jimmy Carr
(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Characteristics
Condescending
The best way to keep one's word is not to give it.
Napoleon Bonaparte
(1769 – 1821) French general & politician
Characteristics
Promises
Every word she writes is a lie, including "and" and "the."
Mary McCarthy
(1912 – 1989) author, critic & political activist
Characteristics
Honesty
Insults
Lies
Referring to Lillian Hellman
The Japanese have perfected good manners and made them indistinguishable from rudeness.
Paul Theroux
(1941 – ) novelist
Characteristics
Places
Japan
Manners
Rudeness
The world makes you into a bitch, no matter how quietly you go, so you may as well go kicking and screaming.
Roseanne Barr
(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Characteristics
Situations
Bitch
Rumor: A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics
Definitions
Rumor
Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime.
Scott Adams
(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Body
Characteristics
Money
Work
Overtime
Stress
Shirley Temple had charisma as a child… but it cleared up as an adult.
Totie Fields
(1930 – 1978) American comedian
Characteristics
Time
Charisma
Shirley Temple
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