Subject: Characteristics (Page 11)

Paranoia is a bad personality trait for a comedian; what are you laughing at?

(1974 – ) Scottish comedian
Characteristics Entertainment

Many a live wire would be a dead one except for his connections.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Characteristics

My last boyfriend gave me a piece of coal, and he told me that he would marry me when it turned into a diamond from all the pressure.

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Characteristics Marriage

Be good and you will be lonely.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics People Self

I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.

(1951 – ) U.S. senator (Minnesota), political commentator, comedian & writer
Characteristics People Self

There's always someone willing to disagree with me; but I'm the one who's called controversial.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author
Characteristics Communication

I smoke in moderation, only one cigar at a time.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics

A bore is a person not interested in you.

author
Characteristics People

Trust everybody, but cut the cards.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws

Self-respect: the secure feeling that no one, as yet, is suspicious.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Characteristics

I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers.

(1869 – 1948) Indian leader of independence movement
Characteristics People

He’s so crooked that when he dies, they’re going to have to screw him into the ground.

Characteristics Expressions Honesty

Football doesn’t build character; it eliminates the weak ones.

(1924 – 2012) American football player & coach
Characteristics Football Sports

At their core, women fear that men will kill them; at their core, men fear that women will laugh at them.

(1954 – ) security specialist, advisor & author
Characteristics Emotions Killing Laughter Men People Women

How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs Characteristics Clothing

My dad is actually a manic depressive, which is very exciting half the time.

(1963 – ) American stand-up comedian
Characteristics Family Fathers Health

I'm afraid that fulfilling my potential would really cut into my sitting around time.

(1970 – ) American stand-up comedian & voice actor
Characteristics Time

When we got into office, the thing that surprised me most was to find that things were just as bad as we'd been saying they were.

(1917 – 1963) 35th U.S. president
Characteristics Communication Problems

I would rather be an opportunist and float than go to the bottom with my principles round my neck.

(1867 – 1947) British politician
Characteristics Self

You take the lies out of him, and he'll shrink to the size of your hat; you take the malice out of him, and he'll disappear.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics Honesty Insults Lies

I know how to do anything — I’m a mom.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Characteristics Family Mothers