Subject: Characteristics (Page 11)

I prefer rogues to imbeciles because they sometimes take a rest.

(1824 – 1895) French writer
Characteristics Fools Intelligence

Revenge is sweet and not fattening.

(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer
Characteristics

When we played softball, I’d steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Characteristics Sports

The function of vice is to keep virtue within reasonable bounds.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Characteristics

It’s better to be black than gay because when you’re black you don’t have to tell your mother.

comedian, composer & lyricist
Appearance Characteristics Mothers

Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician
Characteristics Eating Food/Drink People

I’m not a politician and my other habits are good, also.

Charles Farrar Browne (1834 – 1867) humorist
Characteristics Government Politicians

There are several good protections against temptations, but the surest is cowardice.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics Situations

I was going to buy a copy of The Power of Positive Thinking, and then I thought: What the hell good would that do?

comedian
Books Characteristics Communication Reading/Writing

Worriers spend a lot of time shoveling smoke.

(1925 – ) writer
Characteristics Time

Absolute power corrupts absolutely.

(1834 – 1902) English Catholic historian, politician, & writer
Characteristics Government

With a black president, I can relax…I can dance in public… I can buy a whole watermelon now.

(1964 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actress, television host
Characteristics Government President Situations

Giving up smoking is easy… I've done it hundreds of times.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Activities Characteristics

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Characteristics Husbands Marriage Wives

Hermits have no peer pressure.

Characteristics

I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics

Truth is stranger than fiction; fiction has to make sense.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Characteristics Communication Honesty Truth

As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Characteristics Children Fear Health People

I had a piece of Carefree Sugarless gum and I was still worried; it never kicked in.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Characteristics Food/Drink

You’ll never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.

Characteristics

Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that their children are naive.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Characteristics Children Family Parents People