Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Characteristics
(Page 12)
The English think incompetence is the same thing as sincerity.
Quentin Crisp
(1908 – 1999) English writer
Characteristics
England
People
Places
Incompetence
Sincerity
Nervous as a cat in a room full of rockers
Anonymous
Characteristics
Emotions
Expressions
Nervous
He’s gettin’ above his raisin.'
Country expression
Characteristics
Not how he was raised
Pompous
Self-important
I'm as pure as the driven slush.
Tallulah Bankhead
(1903 – 1968) movie actress
Characteristics
Bad
Good
Purity
Consistence requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago.
Bernard Berenson
1865 – 1959) American art historian
Characteristics
Intelligence
Stupidity
Consistency
He’d steal flies from a blind spider.
Anonymous
Characteristics
Expressions
Honesty
A cheat
A thief
Pain: An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics
Definitions
Intelligence
Mind
Pain
Physical
Honesty is a good thing, but it is not profitable to its possessor unless it is kept under control.
Don Marquis
(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Characteristics
Honesty
Profitable
Ability is the art of getting credit for all the home runs somebody else hits.
Casey Stengel
(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Activities
Baseball
Characteristics
Sports
Ability
Home runs
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
Woody Allen
(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Characteristics
Life
Regret
Someone else
To be natural is such a very difficult pose to keep up.
Oscar Wilde
(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics
Natural
A bleeding heart can be hell on the carpeting.
Solomon Short
David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author
Body
Characteristics
Situations
Things
Bleeding heart
Carpeting
Our ego is our silent partner – too often with a controlling interest.
Cullen Hightower
(1923 – ) American quote & quip writer
Characteristics
People
Self
Egotism
Silent partner
I was going to buy a copy of The Power of Positive Thinking, and then I thought: What the hell good would that do?
Ronnie Shakes
comedian
Books
Characteristics
Communication
Reading/Writing
Badness comes in waves.
Snafu Equation VI
Characteristics
Murphy’s Laws
Badness
Liars get caught by the tale.
Luebbert's Law
Characteristics
Honesty
Lies
Murphy’s Laws
If I were married to her, I’d be sure to have dinner ready when she got home.
George Shultz
(1920 – ) American economist, statesman & businessman
Characteristics
People
Of Margaret Thatcher
Slander: To lie, or tell the truth about someone.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics
Communication
Definitions
Slander
You can’t learn too soon that the most useful thing about a principle is that it can always be sacrificed to expediency.
Maugham's Law
Characteristics
Murphy’s Laws
Principles
I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers.
Mohandas Gandhi
(1869 – 1948) Indian leader of independence movement
Characteristics
People
Equality
Photographers
Reporters
Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.
Frank ‘Kin’ Hubbard
(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Characteristics
Honesty
Page 12 of 50
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