Subject: Characteristics (Page 13)

I never trust a man unless I've got his pecker in my pocket.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
Characteristics Opinion

Virtue is its own punishment.

(1897 – 1960) Welsh labor leader & politician
Characteristics

My specialty is detached malevolence.

(1884 – 1980) author & wit
Characteristics People Self

This guy says, ‘I’m perfect for you, ‘cause I’m a cross between a macho and a sensitive man.’ … I said, ‘Oh, a gay trucker?’

(1956 – ) American entertainer & comedian
Characteristics Men People

I never drink water; I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Characteristics

The fundamental defect of fathers is that they want their children to be a credit to them.

(1872 – 1970) British philosopher, mathematician, historian & social critic
Characteristics Children Family Fathers

Baseball is 90% mental, the other half is physical.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Characteristics Yogi-isms

An ethical man is a Christian holding four aces.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics

Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Characteristics People Relationships

More than 150 heads of state attended the UN Summit, giving New Yorkers a chance to get in touch with prejudices they didn't even know they had.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Characteristics People

Flatterer: one who says things to your face that he wouldn’t say behind your back.

Characteristics Communication People Speech

Being a star has made it possible for me to get insulted in places where the average Negro could never hope to go and get insulted.

(1925 – 1990) American entertainer
Characteristics Insults People Success

Do not free a camel of the burden of his hump; you may be freeing him from being a camel.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Characteristics

I’d rather be lucky than good.

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player
Characteristics

There is more simplicity in the man who eats caviar on impulse than in the man who eats Grape Nuts on principle.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Characteristics Eating Food/Drink People

A diplomat is a man who thinks twice before he says nothing.

(1822 – 1891) U.S. senator (South Carolina)
Characteristics Government

I'm not really the type to wander off and sit down and go through deep wrestling with my soul.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Characteristics People Self

He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes.

(1944 – 2007) newspaper columnist, political commentator, humorist & author
Characteristics Insults

My last boyfriend gave me a piece of coal, and he told me that he would marry me when it turned into a diamond from all the pressure.

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Characteristics Marriage

In any group of eagles, you will find some turkeys.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws

Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Characteristics Fear