Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Characteristics
(Page 13)
I have a lot of growing up to do; I realized that the other day inside my fort.
Zach Galifianakis
(1969 – ) comedian & actor
Age
Characteristics
Maturing
I’m not good and tired, just tired.
Mae West
(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Characteristics
Good
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Albert Einstein
(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Characteristics
Intelligence
Creativity
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people: the good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
Woody Allen
(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Characteristics
Situations
Sleep
Bad
Good
I'm not really the type to wander off and sit down and go through deep wrestling with my soul.
George W. Bush
(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Characteristics
People
Self
Soul
Telling lies is a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an accomplishment in a bachelor, and second-nature in a married man.
Helen Rowland
(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Characteristics
Honesty
Husbands
Lies
People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
Bob Hope
(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Characteristics
Kissing
Laziness
The higher the building the lower the morals.
Noel Coward
(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Characteristics
Things
Morals
Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.
Sophia Loren
(1934 – ) Italian actress
Characteristics
Sex
Virtue is its own punishment.
Denniston's Law
Characteristics
Murphy’s Laws
Virtue
If you are flattering a woman, it pays to be a little more subtle; you don’t have to bother with men, they believe any compliment automatically.
Alan Ayckbourn
(1939 – ) English playwright
Characteristics
Men
People
Women
Flattery
You take the lies out of him, and he'll shrink to the size of your hat; you take the malice out of him, and he'll disappear.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics
Honesty
Insults
Lies
I think, in most cases, the difference between depression and disappointment is your level of commitment.
Marc Maron
(1963 – ) American stand-up comedian
Characteristics
Health
Commitment
Depression
Disappointment
If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out.
Paul Gallico
(1897 – 1976) American novelist, short story & sports writer
Characteristics
Golf
Sports
Good
A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika.
Dorothy Parker
(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Characteristics
Bad taste
Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity; that's how rich I want to be.
Rita Rudner
(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Characteristics
Money
Wealth
He is a modest little man who has a good deal to be modest about.
Winston Churchill
(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Characteristics
Insults
Opinion
About Clement Attlee
Modesty
Self-respect: the secure feeling that no one, as yet, is suspicious.
H.L. Mencken
(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Characteristics
Self-respect
Abnormal is so common, it's practically normal.
Cory Doctorow
(1971 – ) Canadian blogger, journalist & science fiction author
Characteristics
Abnormal
All your friends are gonna be green with
envious.
Archie Bunker
television character,
All In the Family
(Carroll O’Connor)
Characteristics
Misspokements
Green with envy
There is one sure way of telling when politicians aren't telling the truth — their lips move.
Felicity Kendall
(1946 – ) English actress
Characteristics
Government
Honesty
Politicians
Truth
Lips
Page 13 of 50
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