Subject: Characteristics (Page 14)

Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Characteristics Success

Resolute: Obstinate in a course that we approve.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions

The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

Characteristics

Maybe money corrupts the character; but lack of money isn't going to improve it either.

(1902 – 1968) novelist
Characteristics Money

If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?

(1942 – ) Scottish comedian, musician & actor
Beliefs Characteristics Religion

The proud man can learn humility, but he will be proud of it.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author
Characteristics

As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Characteristics Children Fear Health People

Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Characteristics Family Situations

McKinley has a chocolate eclair backbone.

(1858 – 1919) 26th U.S. president
Characteristics Insults

Time wounds all heels.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Characteristics Insults Time TV/Movie Quotes

My dentist found a new way to cover up his bad breath… he holds up his arms

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Characteristics Health

A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist
Beliefs Characteristics Communication Lies Truth

A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of someone who had searched for the leak in life’s gas pipe with a lighted candle.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Characteristics Death

According to obituary notices, a mean and useless citizen never dies.

(1857 – 1938) American lawyer
Characteristics People

Jews can't serve on juries because they insist they're guilty.

American stand-up comedian, television writer & actor
Characteristics Law

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Characteristics

I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Characteristics Communication Reading/Writing Truth

If you treat people right they will treat you right… ninety percent of the time.

(1882 – 1945) 32nd U.S. president
Characteristics Honesty People

Until I was 13, I thought my name was ‘Shut Up.’

(1943 – ) American football player
Age Characteristics Communication Self Young

Pipe-smokers spend so much time cleaning, filling and fooling with their pipes, they don't have time to get into mischief.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Characteristics Individuals People

If you aren't fired with enthusiasm, you will be fired with enthusiasm.

(1913 – 1970) football coach
Characteristics Situations