Subject: Characteristics (Page 15)

The last time I saw him he was walking down Lover’s Lane holding his own hand.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Characteristics

Acting is all about honesty and if you can fake that, you've got it made.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Acting Characteristics Entertainment Honesty

Discretion is not the better part of biography.

(1880 – 1932) British writer & critic
Characteristics

Mother Teresa with better legs.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Characteristics People

My girlfriend said to me in bed last night' 'you're a pervert;’ I said, 'that's a big word for a girl of nine.’

(1956 – ) American comedian
Characteristics Situations

Whenever A annoys or injures B on the pretense of saving or improving X, A is a scoundrel.

Characteristics Conflict Murphy’s Laws

I try not to break the rules but merely to test their elasticity.

(1914 – 1986) American baseball team owner & promoter
Characteristics Honesty

Everything is in a state of flux, including the status quo.

(1930 – ) American author and billiard player, teacher & commentator
Characteristics

A thick skin is a gift from God.

(1876 – 1967) German statesman
Characteristics God

Politicians are wedded to the truth, but like many other married couples they sometimes live apart.

(1870 – 1916) British writer
Characteristics Government Honesty Marriage Politicians Truth

The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Characteristics Government Honesty Politicians

The fury engendered by the misspelling of a name in a (newspaper) column is in direct ratio to the obscurity of the mentionee.

Anger Characteristics Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

The nice thing about being a celebrity is that when you bore people, they think it's their fault.

(1923 – ) German-born diplomat & scholar
Characteristics Success

Egotism: Doing the New York Times crossword puzzle with a pen.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions

Liberal: Someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.

Beliefs Characteristics Definitions

A little ambiguity never hurt anyone.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws

Be moderate in all things, including moderation.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics

I had to give up masochism – I was enjoying it too much.

(1931 – 1994) British cartoonist
Characteristics Emotions

I’m not a very competitive person… I’m always the first to say it.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Characteristics

Borrow money from pessimists; they don't expect it back.

Characteristics Money

I have never been jealous; not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Characteristics Education Fathers School