Subject: Characteristics (Page 15)

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return; it's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.

(1917 – ) English physicist & science fiction author
Characteristics Honesty Money

I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life; my gynecologist examines me by telephone.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Characteristics Self Sex

One “Oh shit” can erase a thousand “Attaboys.”

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Characteristics Communication

If at first you don't succeed, lie, lie again.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Characteristics Honesty Lies

Homosexuality is God’s way of ensuring that the truly gifted aren’t burdened with children.

comedian, composer & lyricist
Characteristics Children Intelligence People

Carlyle said, “A lie cannot live;” it shows he did not know how to tell them.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics Communication Language Lies

Charm: The ability to make someone think that both of you are wonderful.

Characteristics Definitions

An optimist is a fellow who believes a housefly is looking for a way to get out.

(1882 – 1958) drama critic, editor
Animals Characteristics

I would worship the ground you walk on, Audrey, if you only lived in a better neighborhood.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Characteristics Speech

I’d rather have an inch of a dog than miles of pedigree.

Animals Characteristics People

If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it.

Characteristics Expressions Situations

In any group of eagles, you will find some turkeys.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws

I was so unpopular as a kid, Dale Carnegie once hit me in the mouth.

(1924 – 1987) American stand-up ‘deadpan’ comedian and actor
Characteristics Insults People

Let the others have the charisma, I've got the class.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Characteristics

The worst vice of the fanatic is his sincerity.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics

My father always used to say, "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger," – 'til the accident.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Characteristics Situations

One day of practice is like one day of clean living; it doesn’t do you any good.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Characteristics Sports

Things could always be worse; for instance, you could be ugly and work in the Post Office.

writer, humorist, columnist & speaker
Appearance Characteristics Ugly Work

Wickedness is always easier than virtue; for it takes the short cut to everything.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer
Characteristics

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Anger Characteristics Communication Speech

If you wish to hide your character, do not play golf.

golf writer
Characteristics Golf Sports