Subject: Characteristics (Page 16)

I'm the Descartes of anxiety; I panic, therefore I am.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Characteristics

An optimist will tell you the glass is half-full; the pessimist, half-empty; and the engineer will tell you the glass is twice the size it needs to be.

Characteristics People

Hermits have no peer pressure.

Characteristics

I can resist everything except temptation.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Characteristics Life

You know, you can’t please all the people all the time… and last night, all those people were at my show.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Characteristics Entertainment People

If one tells the truth, one is sure, sooner or later, to be found out.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics Honesty Truth

There is one sure way of telling when politicians aren't telling the truth — their lips move.

(1946 – ) English actress
Characteristics Government Honesty Politicians Truth

I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Characteristics Honesty

Honey, tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to be sarcastic.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer
Characteristics TV/Movie Quotes

I rely on my personality for birth control.

(1961 – ) comedian, writer, radio & television personality & blogger
Characteristics Sex

Very sorry can't come; lie follows by post.

(1846 – 1919) British Admiral & member of Parliament
Characteristics Honesty Lies

When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do – well, that's Memoirs.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Characteristics Past Reading/Writing Self

I felt as out of place as a left-handed violinist in a crowded string section.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Characteristics Situations

Associate with well-mannered persons and your manners will improve; run with decent folk and your own decent instincts will be strengthened; keep the company of bums and you will become a bum; hang around with rich people and you will end by picking up the check and dying broke.

Characteristics Money Murphy’s Laws People

Honesty is a good thing, but it is not profitable to its possessor unless it is kept under control.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Characteristics Honesty

Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?

(1964 – ) comedian, political satirist, writer & television host
Beliefs Characteristics Religion

One “Oh shit” can erase a thousand “Attaboys.”

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Characteristics Communication

Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Characteristics Failure Intelligence Mistakes People

Everything is in a state of flux, including the status quo.

(1930 – ) American author and billiard player, teacher & commentator
Characteristics

He lies so bad he hires somebody to call his dogs.

Characteristics Expressions Honesty Lies