Subject: Characteristics (Page 16)

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Characteristics Time

I was born gay, but eight months of breast feeding wiped that right out.

(1962 – ) American stand-up comedian, writer, actor & radio host
Characteristics Situations

You can pretend to be serious; you can’t pretend to be witty.

(1885 – 1957) French stage actor, film actor, director, screenwriter & playwright
Characteristics

He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Characteristics

To err is human to forgive, infrequent.

(1881 – 1960) American columnist
Characteristics Failure Mistakes Problems

Zeal: A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions Young

Every man has his follies – and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Characteristics Intelligence

Humility is a good quality, but it can be overdone.

(1944 – ) Canadian-born British newspaper publisher & author
Characteristics

Are you so unobservant that you do not yet realize that sanity and happiness are an impossible combination?

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics Emotions Happiness

I used to play golf with a guy who cheated so badly that he once had a hole in one and wrote down zero on his scorecard.

professional golfer
Characteristics Golf Honesty Sports

Refinement: The ability to yawn without opening your mouth.

Characteristics Definitions

Pity the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Characteristics People World

There are two types of actors: those who say they want to be famous and those who are liars.

(1958 – ) American film & theater actor
Characteristics Honesty Success

Patience: A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions Language

If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Characteristics Family Relationships

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Characteristics

More than 150 heads of state attended the UN Summit, giving New Yorkers a chance to get in touch with prejudices they didn't even know they had.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Characteristics People

As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Characteristics Honesty Truth

It’s useless to hold a person to anything he says while he’s in love, drunk, or running for office.

(1934 – ) American actress, dancer, activist & author
Alcohol Characteristics Elections/Voting

Her virtue was that she said what she thought, her vice – that what she thought didn't amount to much.

(1921 – 2004) English actor & author
Characteristics

Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.

(1917 – 1963) 35th U.S. president
Characteristics