Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Characteristics
(Page 18)
When we got into office, the thing that surprised me most was to find that things were just as bad as we'd been saying they were.
John F Kennedy
(1917 – 1963) 35th U.S. president
Characteristics
Communication
Problems
Bad
Presidency
I’m too lazy to work and too scared to steal.
Tom Bolton
professional baseball player
Baseball
Characteristics
Sports
Work
Laziness
On why he kept playing despite seven years in the minor leagues
Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you.
A Murphy's Military Law
Characteristics
Military
Murphy’s Laws
Bravery
Foxholes
A conservative is a man who does not think that anything should be done for the first time.
Frank Vanderlip
(1864 – 1937) American banker, Assistant Secretary of Treasury
Beliefs
Characteristics
Opinion
Conservatives
One day of practice is like one day of clean living; it doesn’t do you any good.
Abe Lemons
(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Characteristics
Sports
Clean living
Morals
Practice
The search for someone to blame is always successful.
Robert Half
businessman
Characteristics
Relationships
Success
Blame
A pessimist is a man who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.
Dr. Laurence J. Peter
(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Characteristics
People
Pessimists
Admiration: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics
Communication
Definitions
Language
Self
Admiration
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
Anonymous
Characteristics
Men
People
Women
Ambition
Equality
I have often wished I had time to cultivate modesty… but I am too busy thinking about myself.
Edith Sitwell
(1887 – 1964) English biographer, critic, novelist & poet
Characteristics
Egotism
Modesty
He who slings mud generally loses ground.
Adlai E. Stevenson
(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
Characteristics
Communication
The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none.
Thomas Carlyle
(1795 – 1881) Scottish philosopher, writer, historian & teacher
Characteristics
Faults
The cure for boredom is curiosity; there is no cure for curiosity.
Dorothy Parker
(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Characteristics
Intelligence
Boredom
Curiosity
Even snakes are afraid of snakes.
Steven Wright
(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Animals
Characteristics
Fear
Snakes
I never give the public hell; I just tell the truth and they think it is hell.
Harry Truman
(1884 – 1972) 33rd U.S. president
Characteristics
Communication
Speech
Nicknamed ‘Give 'em Hell Harry’
1. No matter what they're telling you, they're not telling you the whole truth. 2. No matter what they're talking about, they're talking about money.
Todd's First Two Political Principles
Characteristics
Honesty
Lies
Money
Murphy’s Laws
Truth
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W.C. Fields
(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Characteristics
Intelligence
Bull
If you treat people right they will treat you right… ninety percent of the time.
Franklin D. Roosevelt
(1882 – 1945) 32nd U.S. president
Characteristics
Honesty
People
Fairness
Adam did not want the apple for the apple's sake; he wanted it because it was forbidden.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics
Adam
Apple
Forbidden
In order to make a man or boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to attain.
Twain's First Law
Characteristics
Men
People
Situations
Boys
Coveting
I used to be indecisive… but I'm not sure.
Anonymous
Characteristics
Indecision
Oxymorons
Page 18 of 50
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