Subject: Characteristics (Page 2)

A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Characteristics

I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Characteristics Eating Food/Drink

Are you so unobservant that you do not yet realize that sanity and happiness are an impossible combination?

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics Emotions Happiness

Thou shalt not covet they neighbors’s house… unless they have a well-stocked bar.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Characteristics Food/Drink

I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.

Activities Characteristics Exercise

Those who are easily shocked should be shocked more often.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Characteristics People

Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics Emotions

Only a mediocre person is always at his best.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws

An Englishman, even if he is alone, forms an orderly queue of one.

(1912 – 1987) Hungarian-born British author
Characteristics England People Places

Every once in a while someone without a single bad habit gets caught.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Characteristics

I've always found paranoia to be a perfectly defensible position.

(1945 – ) novelist
Characteristics

If you don't know what introspection is… you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.

(1988 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
Characteristics Communication Wordplay

A bore is a fellow talking who can change the subject back to his topic of conversation faster than you can change it back to yours

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Characteristics Communication People Speech

Whatever women do, they must do it twice as well as men to be thought half as good.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws People Women

I can forgive Alfred Nobel for having invented dynamite, but only a fiend in human form could have invented the Nobel Prize.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Characteristics Ideas Intelligence Success

We would all like a reputation for generosity and we'd all like to buy it cheap.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author
Characteristics

I like restraint, if it doesn't go too far.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Activities Characteristics

The last time I saw him he was walking down Lover’s Lane holding his own hand.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Characteristics

We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics Success

If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Characteristics Facts Intelligence Situations Truth

When it’s third and ten, you can take the milk drinkers and I’ll take the whiskey drinkers every time.

professional football player
Characteristics Football Sports