Subject: Characteristics (Page 2)

Even a sixty-year-old man with no arms thinks he could play in the Super Bowl if he had to.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Age Characteristics Men People Sports

I’m too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don’t know.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Characteristics Communication Sex

I don’t drink, I’m a totalitarian.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Alcohol Characteristics Food/Drink Misspokements

Football doesn’t build character; it eliminates the weak ones.

(1924 – 2012) American football player & coach
Characteristics Football Sports

Prejudiced people are all alike.

Characteristics People

My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
Characteristics

Honesty: The fear of being caught.

Characteristics Definitions

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Characteristics People

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Body Characteristics Money Work

Life is just a bowl of pits.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Characteristics Food/Drink Life

Don't be so humble – you are not that great.

(1898 – 1978) Israeli prime minister
Characteristics Insults

You take the lies out of him, and he'll shrink to the size of your hat; you take the malice out of him, and he'll disappear.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics Honesty Insults Lies

To enjoy a good reputation give publicly, and steal privately.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Characteristics

Nothing is as dangerous as an unemployed lawyer.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author
Characteristics Government Law Lawyers

Modesty: The gentle art of enhancing your charm by pretending not to be aware of it.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Characteristics

There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.

Characteristics Honesty Lies Science/Weather

Only a mediocre person is always at his best.

(1874 – 1965) English dramatist & novelist
Characteristics

Always try to be modest… and be VERY proud of it!

Characteristics

My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author
Characteristics

The world makes you into a bitch, no matter how quietly you go, so you may as well go kicking and screaming.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Characteristics Situations

There never was an impostor so hateful, a blockhead so stupid, a crank so variously and offensively daft… he makes me tired.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Insults Intelligence