Subject: Characteristics (Page 20)

He's too lazy to scratch his own ass.

Characteristics Expressions

Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Characteristics Success

The dread of loneliness is greater than the fear of bondage, so we get married.

(1903 – 1974) English intellectual, literary critic & writer
Characteristics Marriage

Those whose approval you seek the most give you the least.

public relations manager
Characteristics Murphy’s Laws People

Tact is the art of telling someone to lose thirty pounds without ever using the word “fat.”

Characteristics Fat Murphy’s Laws

Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's rainin'!

Characteristics Expressions Honesty

She not only expects the worst, but makes the worst of it when it happens.

(1895 – 1956) Armenian essayist, novelist, playwright, & scriptwriter
Characteristics Insults

The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

Characteristics

Always willing to lend a helping hand to the one above him.

(1896 – 1940) American author of novels & short stories
Characteristics Insults

Many people would be more truthful were it not for their uncontrollable desire to talk.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Characteristics Communication Honesty Speech Truth

I was born gay, but eight months of breast feeding wiped that right out.

(1962 – ) American stand-up comedian, writer, actor & radio host
Characteristics Situations

Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you.

Characteristics Military Murphy’s Laws

My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance; we’ll see about that.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Characteristics

A loafer always has the correct time.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Characteristics Time

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Characteristics Past Time

I have low self-esteem; when were in bed together, I would fantasize that I was someone else.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Characteristics People Self Sex

The only way of really finding out a man's true character is to play golf with him; in no other walk of life does the cloven hoof so quickly display itself.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Characteristics Golf Sports

Always be nice to people on the way up because you'll meet the same people on the way down.

Characteristics People Success

Charity begins at home… at about 6:30, when they call you and interrupt your dinner.

Characteristics

He’s so lazy he wouldn’t work in a pie factory.

Characteristics Expressions Work

Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Characteristics Family Situations