Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Characteristics
(Page 21)
A witness shall not bear
falsies
against thy neighbor.
Archie Bunker
television character,
All In the Family
(Carroll O’Connor)
Characteristics
Lies
Falsehoods
Fanaticism consists in redoubling your effort when you have forgotten your aim.
George Santayana
(1863 – 1952) Spanish American philosopher, essayist, poet & novelist
Characteristics
Intelligence
Fanaticism
Idealogy
We are confronted with insurmountable opportunities.
Walt Kelly
(1913 – 1973) American animator & cartoonist
(Pogo)
Characteristics
Situations
Opportunities
Jealousy: The tribute mediocrity pays to genius.
Anonymous
Characteristics
Definitions
Jealousy
You only lie to two people in your life: your girlfriend and the police.
Jack Nicholson
(1937 – ) American actor
Characteristics
Honesty
Lies
I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.
Mae West
(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Characteristics
Temptation
Mother Teresa with better legs.
Billy Wilder
(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Characteristics
People
Good
On actress Marlene Dietrich
Now the only thing I miss about sex is the cigarette afterward.
Florence King
(1936 – ) novelist, essayist & columnist
Characteristics
Sex
Cigarettes
Smoking
I'm compulsive, but I'm also very indecisive; I don't know what I want, but I know that I want it now.
Dylan Moran
(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Characteristics
Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics
Honesty
Truth
Fiction
Stranger
Modesty in an actor is as fake as passion in a call girl.
Jackie Gleason
(1916 – 1987) television actor & comedian
Characteristics
Emotions
Entertainment
Actors
Modesty
Eddie had so much energy he made coffee beans jumpy.
George Burns
(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Characteristics
Eddie Cantor
Energy
Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious.
William Feather
(1908 – 1976) publisher & author
Characteristics
Cheerfulness
Anyone can tell the truth, but only very few of us can make epigrams.
W. Somerset Maugham
(1874 – 1965) English dramatist & novelist
Characteristics
Communication
Language
Reading/Writing
Truth
Epigrams
I was going to buy a copy of The Power of Positive Thinking, and then I thought: What the hell good would that do?
Ronnie Shakes
comedian
Books
Characteristics
Communication
Reading/Writing
Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.
(Sam) Brown's Law
Characteristics
Murphy’s Laws
People
Offending
Plan to be spontaneous… tomorrow.
Anonymous
Characteristics
Time
Spontaneity
Tomorrow
It's [a movie script] about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.
Mae West
(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Characteristics
Bad
Reputation
First of all you've got to have talent, and then you've got to marry her like I did.
George Burns
(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Characteristics
Success
Talent
Wife Gracie Allen
Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all.
Sam Ewing
(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
Characteristics
People
Work
I never give the public hell; I just tell the truth and they think it is hell.
Harry Truman
(1884 – 1972) 33rd U.S. president
Characteristics
Communication
Speech
Nicknamed ‘Give 'em Hell Harry’
Page 21 of 50
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