Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Characteristics
(Page 21)
I think women who think size doesn't matter are shallow.
Stewart Francis
Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Appearance
Body
Characteristics
Our strength is often composed of the weakness that we're damned if we are going to show.
Mignon McLaughlin
(1913 – 1983) journalist & author
Characteristics
Vanity
He is a shifty-eyed goddamn liar…. he's one of the few in the history of this country to run for high office talking out of both sides of his mouth at the same time and lying out of both sides.
Harry Truman
(1884 – 1972) 33rd U.S. president
Characteristics
Honesty
Insults
Lies
Richard M. Nixon
Official dignity tends to increase in inverse ratio to the importance of the country in which the office is held.
Aldous Huxley
(1894 – 1963) English writer
Characteristics
Dignity
You only lie to two people in your life: your girlfriend and the police.
Jack Nicholson
(1937 – ) American actor
Characteristics
Honesty
Lies
There is a good deal to be said for blushing, if one can do it at the proper moment.
Mae West
(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Characteristics
Emotions
Blushing
Every word she writes is a lie, including "and" and "the."
Mary McCarthy
(1912 – 1989) author, critic & political activist
Characteristics
Honesty
Insults
Lies
Referring to Lillian Hellman
A loafer always has the correct time.
Frank ‘Kin’ Hubbard
(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Characteristics
Time
Laziness
He’d steal flies from a blind spider.
Anonymous
Characteristics
Expressions
Honesty
A cheat
A thief
I despise the pleasure of pleasing people that I despise.
Lady Mary Wortley Montagu
(1689 – 1762) English aristocrat & writer
Characteristics
The trouble with being punctual is that there's nobody there to appreciate it.
Harold Rome
(1908 – 1993) American composer, lyricist & writer
Characteristics
Time
Punctuality
Acting is all about honesty and if you can fake that, you've got it made.
George Burns
(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Acting
Characteristics
Entertainment
Honesty
Faking
I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.
Mae West
(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Characteristics
Temptation
Nothing risqué, nothing gained.
Alexander Woollcott
(1887 – 1943) theater critic & commentator
Characteristics
Language
Sex
I have often wished I had time to cultivate modesty… but I am too busy thinking about myself.
Edith Sitwell
(1887 – 1964) English biographer, critic, novelist & poet
Characteristics
Egotism
Modesty
I (don’t) want anything ostentatious, no matter what it costs.
Art Buchwald
(1925 – 2007) humorist & columnist
Characteristics
Money
On his funeral services
Ostentatiousness
[Charm] is a way of getting the answer yes without having asked any clear question
Albert Camus
(1913 – 1960) French-Algerian author, philosopher & journalist
Characteristics
Charm
Blessed is he who expects no gratitude, for he shall not be disappointed.
W.C. Bennett
American clergyman
Characteristics
Disappointment
Gratitude
Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely.
Acton's Law
Characteristics
Murphy’s Laws
Absolute power
Corruption
Influence
Reputation is character minus what you’ve been caught doing.
Michael Iapoce
American comedian, writer, consultant & author
Characteristics
From “Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Boardroom”
Reputation
I like a man who's good, but not too good; for the good die young, and I hate a dead one.
Mae West
(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Age
Characteristics
Good
Page 21 of 50
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