Subject: Characteristics (Page 21)

No matter how cynical you get, it’s impossible to keep up.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Characteristics

I have often wished I had time to cultivate modesty… but I am too busy thinking about myself.

(1887 – 1964) English biographer, critic, novelist & poet
Characteristics

If you are flattering a woman, it pays to be a little more subtle; you don’t have to bother with men, they believe any compliment automatically.

(1939 – ) English playwright
Characteristics Men People Women

It’s better to be black than gay because when you’re black you don’t have to tell your mother.

comedian, composer & lyricist
Appearance Characteristics Mothers

Mother Teresa with better legs.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Characteristics People

What, Me Worry?

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Characteristics

Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Characteristics Failure Success

Actions lie louder than words.

(1966 – ) American magazine editor
Characteristics Lies

Un-American: Wicked, intolerable, heathenish.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
America Characteristics Definitions Places

If I have an orgasm, I feel that I have to give six weeks of community service to various charities.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Activities Characteristics Sex

People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Characteristics Opinion People

The best way to keep one's word is not to give it.

(1769 – 1821) French general & politician
Characteristics

Football doesn’t build character; it eliminates the weak ones.

(1924 – 2012) American football player & coach
Characteristics Football Sports

The higher the building the lower the morals.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Characteristics Things

If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it.

Characteristics Expressions Situations

There never was an impostor so hateful, a blockhead so stupid, a crank so variously and offensively daft… he makes me tired.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Insults Intelligence

It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

Characteristics

When I was a child, what I wanted to be when I grew up was an invalid.

(1908 – 1999) English writer
Characteristics

He’s gettin’ above his raisin.'

Characteristics

It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world, and moral courage so rare.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics

I'm not a lesbian; I can't even do improv.

(1958 – ) American actress & stand-up comedian
Characteristics Sex