Characteristics | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Characteristics (Page 21)

Life is just a bowl of pits.

Rodney Dangerfield

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

There is more simplicity in the man who eats caviar on impulse than in the man who eats Grape Nuts on principle.

G.K. Chesterton

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist

Characteristics Eating Food/Drink People Impulse Simplicity

An easily understood, workable falsehood is more useful than a complex, incomprehensible truth.

Thumb’s Second Postulate

Characteristics Honesty Intelligence Lies Murphy’s Laws Truth

If an ass goes a-traveling, he'll not come home a horse.

African proverb

Characteristics Proverbs Situations

Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

Jules Renard

(1864 – 1910) French author

Characteristics Situations Laziness

Tact is the art of telling someone to lose thirty pounds without ever using the word “fat.”

Bishop’s Definition

Characteristics Fat Murphy’s Laws Tact

It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those we intend to commit.

Josh Billings

(1818 – 1885) humorist

Characteristics Time Repent Sin

A hypocrite is a person who – but who isn't?

Don Marquis

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author

Characteristics People Hypocrite

I came from a real tough neighborhood; I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.

Rodney Dangerfield

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

Characteristics Places Hands Neighborhood

He is the kind of man who would cut down a redwood tree and then mount the stump to make a speech for conservation.

Adlai E. Stevenson

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician

Characteristics Insults Richard Nixon

Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.

John F Kennedy

(1917 – 1963) 35th U.S. president

Characteristics Enemies Forgiveness

Virtue: Lack of opportunity.

Anonymous

Characteristics Definitions Virtue

Good intentions are invariably ungrammatical.

Oscar Wilde

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

Characteristics Good intentions

The only way of really finding out a man's true character is to play golf with him; in no other walk of life does the cloven hoof so quickly display itself.

P.G. Wodehouse

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist

Characteristics Golf Sports

My mother could make anybody feel guilty – she used to get letters of apology from people she didn’t even know.

Joan Rivers

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

Characteristics Family Mothers Guilt

The Mets achieved total incompetence in a single year, while the Browns worked industriously for almost a decade to gain equal proficiency.

Bill Veeck

(1914 – 1986) American baseball team owner & promoter

Baseball Characteristics Sports Incompetence St. Louis Browns

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.

Groucho Marx

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

Characteristics Men Women Follow Leaders

Until you walk a mile in another man's moccasins you can't imagine the smell.

Robert Byrne

(1930 – ) American author and billiard player, teacher & commentator

Characteristics Understanding Shoes Smell

The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

Anonymous

Characteristics Manners Reflexes

He's too lazy to scratch his own ass.

Anonymous

Characteristics Expressions Laziness

Many who would not take the last cookie would take the last lifeboat.

Mignon McLaughlin

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author

Characteristics

Quotes and One Liners

humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more

Categories

Additional Categories

Oops...

Some Popular Authors

Subject: Characteristics (Page 21)

Life is just a bowl of pits.

There is more simplicity in the man who eats caviar on impulse than in the man who eats Grape Nuts on principle.

An easily understood, workable falsehood is more useful than a complex, incomprehensible truth.

If an ass goes a-traveling, he'll not come home a horse.

Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

Tact is the art of telling someone to lose thirty pounds without ever using the word “fat.”

It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those we intend to commit.

A hypocrite is a person who – but who isn't?

I came from a real tough neighborhood; I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.

He is the kind of man who would cut down a redwood tree and then mount the stump to make a speech for conservation.

Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.

Virtue: Lack of opportunity.

Good intentions are invariably ungrammatical.

The only way of really finding out a man's true character is to play golf with him; in no other walk of life does the cloven hoof so quickly display itself.

My mother could make anybody feel guilty – she used to get letters of apology from people she didn’t even know.

The Mets achieved total incompetence in a single year, while the Browns worked industriously for almost a decade to gain equal proficiency.

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.

Until you walk a mile in another man's moccasins you can't imagine the smell.

The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

He's too lazy to scratch his own ass.

Many who would not take the last cookie would take the last lifeboat.