Subject: Characteristics (Page 22)

An optimist is someone who gets treed by a lion but enjoys the scenery.

(1897 – 1972) broadcast journalist & gossip columnist
Characteristics

Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Characteristics

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Characteristics

You are so lazy if you had a third hand, you’d need a third pocket to put it in.

Characteristics Expressions

Getting talked about is one of the penalties for being pretty, while being above suspicion is about the only compensation for being homely.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Characteristics Communication Speech

You are not being diplomatic just because you put please in front of “Shut the hell up.”

Characteristics Situations

Make money and the whole nation will conspire to call you a gentleman.

Characteristics Money

Eddie had so much energy he made coffee beans jumpy.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Characteristics

He was so square he was divisible by four.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Characteristics Intelligence

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Body Characteristics Money Work

One day of practice is like one day of clean living; it doesn’t do you any good.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Characteristics Sports

If one tells the truth, one is sure, sooner or later, to be found out.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics Honesty Truth

The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics Situations

Dates are basically where I go out and I act like someone I'm not until the person likes me enough to be who I actually am.

writer & comedian
Characteristics Dating People Relationships Self

I had to give up masochism – I was enjoying it too much.

(1931 – 1994) British cartoonist
Characteristics Emotions

Those whose approval you seek the most give you the least.

public relations manager
Characteristics Murphy’s Laws People

When you ever hear girls say that "I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual," I like to reply with "I'm not honest, but you're interesting!

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Beliefs Characteristics Honesty Religion

Everything you read in the newspapers is absolutely true except for that rare story of which you happen to have firsthand knowledge.

Characteristics Communication Honesty Murphy’s Laws Truth

Why is it that nobody understands me and everybody likes me?

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Characteristics People Self Understanding

Badness comes in waves.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws

How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs Characteristics Clothing