Subject: Characteristics (Page 23)

Prosperity is the best protector of principle.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics Money

Paranoia is a bad personality trait for a comedian; what are you laughing at?

(1974 – ) Scottish comedian
Characteristics Entertainment

A loafer always has the correct time.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Characteristics Time

He's liked, but he's not well liked.

(1915 – 2005) playwright & essayist
Characteristics Insults

It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

Characteristics

 The difference between the old ballplayer and the new ballplayer is the jersey; the old ballplayer cared about the name on the front… the new ballplayer cares about the name on the back.

professional baseball player
Baseball Characteristics Sports

Always be nice to people on the way up because you'll meet the same people on the way down.

Characteristics People Success

What are you afraid they're gonna do – sneak in and redecorate the place?

comedian & television writer
Characteristics Intelligence

Tolerance: Another word for indifference.

Characteristics Definitions

I’m told he’s [a] decent sort when you get to know him, but no one ever has, so his decency is sort of secret.

(1937 – ) British playwright & screenwriter
Characteristics

At any particular time, there are more horse's asses in the world than horses.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws People

Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Characteristics Failure Success

Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

Characteristics Communication Lies

In any group of eagles, you will find some turkeys.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws

When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Characteristics Government Money Politics

Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.

(1934 – ) Italian actress
Characteristics Sex

He turned out to be so many different characters he could have populated all of War and Peace and still had a few people left over.

(1920 – ) author, editor, journalist, playwright & television producer
Characteristics

[I’m someone] who spends his time at parties in the room with the coats and whose idea of a good time is to go down to the bus terminal and pretend I’m going somewhere.

(1924 – 1987) American stand-up ‘deadpan’ comedian and actor
Characteristics People Self

Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.

Characteristics Intelligence Situations Understanding

Nyquil comes in two colors, red and green, and it's the only thing on the planet that tastes like red and green.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Characteristics Things

When we played softball, I’d steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Characteristics Sports