Subject: Characteristics (Page 24)

I think women who think size doesn't matter are shallow.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Body Characteristics

Advertising is the art of making whole lies out of half truths.


Characteristics Communication Honesty Lies Truth

The older you get, the better you realize you were.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Age Characteristics Old

An alibi is a reason with a bad reputation.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Characteristics Honesty

Super-competence is more objectionable than incompetence.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws Problems

He'll doublecross that bridge when he comes to it.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Characteristics Government Insults

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

Characteristics Intelligence

If you wish to hide your character, do not play golf.

golf writer
Characteristics Golf Sports

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are.

(1967 – ) American comedian, actor, producer & writer
Characteristics Marriage

Culture is what your butcher would have if he were a surgeon.

author
Characteristics

Even a sixty-year-old man with no arms thinks he could play in the Super Bowl if he had to.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Age Characteristics Men People Sports

There are no grades of vanity; there are only grades of ability in concealing it.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics

I used to be indecisive; but now I'm not sure.

Characteristics Situations

There is no ‘I’ in self-esteem.

(1982 – ) American comedian & actress
Characteristics Self

I prefer rogues to imbeciles because they sometimes take a rest.

(1824 – 1895) French writer
Characteristics Fools Intelligence

If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it.

Characteristics Expressions Situations

Be a fountain, not a drain.

(1960 – ) professional baseball player
Characteristics

Heaven goes by favor; for if it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Animals Beliefs Characteristics Dogs

Every word she writes is a lie, including "and" and "the."

(1912 – 1989) author, critic & political activist
Characteristics Honesty Insults Lies

Maybe money corrupts the character; but lack of money isn't going to improve it either.

(1902 – 1968) novelist
Characteristics Money

It is important to our friends to believe that we are unreservedly frank with them, and important to friendship that we are not.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author
Characteristics Friends Honesty People