Subject: Characteristics (Page 29)

My wife says I’m unsophisticated and uncultured, so to prove her wrong, guess where I’m taking her… hint: It starts with “B” and rhymes with “wallet.”

Characteristics Wordplay

He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Characteristics

He was born silly and had a relapse.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Characteristics

I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Characteristics

When we are happy we are always good, but when we are good we are not always happy.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics Emotions Happiness

A bore is a fellow talking who can change the subject back to his topic of conversation faster than you can change it back to yours

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Characteristics Communication People Speech

Admiration: Our feeling of delight that another person resembles us.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Characteristics People

Liars get caught by the tale.

Characteristics Honesty Lies Murphy’s Laws

Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics Opinion People

He’d fight an anvil.

Characteristics Expressions

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Characteristics Education

It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president
Characteristics People

A pessimist is a man who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Characteristics People

You can pretend to be serious; you can’t pretend to be witty.

(1885 – 1957) French stage actor, film actor, director, screenwriter & playwright
Characteristics

There's so much good in the worst of us, and so many of the worst of us get the best of us, that the rest of us aren't even worth talking about.

(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)
Characteristics People

Never accept a drink from a urologist.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Alcohol Characteristics Doctors Health

Since a politician never believes what he says, he is quite surprised to be taken at his word.

(1890 – 1970) French president, general & statesman
Characteristics Government Honesty Politicians Truth

Modesty is my best quality.

(1894 – 1974) comedian, radio & television host
Characteristics

Even snakes are afraid of snakes.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Animals Characteristics Fear

He'll doublecross that bridge when he comes to it.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Characteristics Government Insults

There seems to be some perverse human characteristic that likes to make easy things difficult.

(1930 – ) financier & investment businessman
Characteristics Problems