Subject: Characteristics (Page 3)

Getting talked about is one of the penalties for being pretty, while being above suspicion is about the only compensation for being homely.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Characteristics Communication Speech

Murphy was an optimist.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws

I consider sex a misdemeanor, the more I miss, de meaner I get.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Characteristics Sex

To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler – and less trouble.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics Problems Situations

That politician is so crooked he can hide behind a corkscrew.

Characteristics Expressions Honesty

One of my uncles said that apparently at birth I snuck out… I thought maybe someone was following me.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Characteristics

Compromise makes a good umbrella but a poor roof; it is a temporary expedient.

(1819 – 1891) editor
Characteristics

Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.

(1920 – 1992) American science and science fiction author & professor
Characteristics

Hell hath no fury like a liberal scorned.

(1932 – 2017) comedian, social activist, critic & writer
Anger Beliefs Characteristics

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Characteristics Communication Language Truth

He was born silly and had a relapse.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Characteristics

He’s so lazy, he’d marry a pregnant woman.

Characteristics Expressions

When you don't know what you are doing, do it neatly.

Characteristics Intelligence

When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do – well, that's Memoirs.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Characteristics Past Reading/Writing Self

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Characteristics Time

It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Characteristics Lies People Truth

You are not being diplomatic just because you put please in front of “Shut the hell up.”

Characteristics Situations

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Anger Characteristics Communication Speech

Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Animals Characteristics Life

I came from a real tough neighborhood; I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Characteristics Places

Never try to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and annoys the pig.

Animals Characteristics Proverbs