Subject: Characteristics (Page 31)

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return; it's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.

(1917 – ) English physicist & science fiction author
Characteristics Honesty Money

The ladies looked one another over with microscopic carelessness.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Characteristics Situations

Paranoia is a bad personality trait for a comedian; what are you laughing at?

(1974 – ) Scottish comedian
Characteristics Entertainment

Associate with well-mannered persons and your manners will improve; run with decent folk and your own decent instincts will be strengthened; keep the company of bums and you will become a bum; hang around with rich people and you will end by picking up the check and dying broke.

Characteristics Money Murphy’s Laws People

I feel very humble; but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Characteristics

An easily understood, workable falsehood is more useful than a complex, incomprehensible truth.

Characteristics Honesty Intelligence Lies Murphy’s Laws Truth

To enjoy a good reputation give publicly, and steal privately.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Characteristics

Failure has gone to his head.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Characteristics Failure Insults Problems

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.

(1918 – 2002) advice columnist
Animals Characteristics Dogs Opinion

I'm not anti-social – I'm just not social.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Characteristics People Self

The function of vice is to keep virtue within reasonable bounds.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Characteristics

There are two types of actors: those who say they want to be famous and those who are liars.

(1958 – ) American film & theater actor
Characteristics Honesty Success

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are.

(1967 – ) American comedian, actor, producer & writer
Characteristics Marriage

It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time.

(1903 – 1968) movie actress
Characteristics Girls People Women

It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Characteristics Lies People Truth

Truth is stranger than fiction; fiction has to make sense.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Characteristics Communication Honesty Truth

As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Characteristics Honesty Truth

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

(1884 – 1962) diplomat & reformer & first lady
Characteristics People Self

The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none.

(1795 – 1881) Scottish philosopher, writer, historian & teacher
Characteristics

I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Characteristics Children People Things

To punish me for my contempt for authority, fate made me an authority myself.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Characteristics