Subject: Characteristics (Page 32)

I’m too lazy to work and too scared to steal.

professional baseball player
Baseball Characteristics Sports Work

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics Emotions People

You only lie to two people in your life: your girlfriend and the police.

(1937 – ) American actor
Characteristics Honesty Lies

Do not free a camel of the burden of his hump; you may be freeing him from being a camel.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Characteristics

He has all the characteristics of a dog except loyalty.

(1793 – 1863) American politician, statesman & soldier
Animals Characteristics Dogs Insults

I consider sex a misdemeanor, the more I miss, de meaner I get.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Characteristics Sex

My wife gets so jealous; she came home from work and was mad at me because there was a pretty girl on the bus she thought I would have liked.

(1957 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & screenwriter
Characteristics Marriage Wives

A neurotic can perfectly well be a literary genius, but his greatest danger is always that he will not recognize when he is dull.

(1917 – 2010) American lawyer, novelist, historian & essayist
Characteristics Communication Reading/Writing

I couldn’t be a responsible enough parent if my kid was born with a new suit and a full-time job.

(1967 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Characteristics Self

Truth is stranger than fiction; fiction has to make sense.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Characteristics Communication Honesty Truth

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Appearance Beliefs Characteristics

There is such a thing as too much couth.

(1904 – 1979) Jewish-American humorist, author & screenwriter
Characteristics

A signature always reveals a man's character – and sometimes even his name.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Characteristics People

Even snakes are afraid of snakes.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Animals Characteristics Fear

He's a Republican housewife from Kansas with all the prejudices.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Characteristics Insults

Accountability: The mother of caution.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions

Egotism: Doing the New York Times crossword puzzle with a pen.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions

If you are riding a high horse, there ain’t no way to get down off it gracefully.

Characteristics

Mother Teresa with better legs.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Characteristics People

Everything is in a state of flux, including the status quo.

(1930 – ) American author and billiard player, teacher & commentator
Characteristics

Too often the strong silent man is silent because he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong only because he has remained silent.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Characteristics Communication Insults Speech