Subject: Characteristics (Page 34)

I don’t fear death, but I sure don’t like those three-footers for par.

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer
Characteristics Fear Golf Sports

He combines the manners of a Marquis with the morals of a Methodist.

(1836 – 1911) English dramatist, librettist, poet & illustrator
Characteristics Insults

A loafer always has the correct time.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Characteristics Time

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead.

Characteristics

Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Characteristics

Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, and Reagan couldn't tell the difference.

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Characteristics Honesty Insults Lies

Adam did not want the apple for the apple's sake; he wanted it because it was forbidden.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics

He’s the type of man who will end up dying in his own arms.

(1931 – ) American actress & singer
Characteristics Death Insults

Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics Emotions

If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy person – they will find an easier way to do it.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws Work

Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.

(1920 – 1992) American science and science fiction author & professor
Characteristics

The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Characteristics Communication

I used to be a narrator for bad mimes.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Characteristics Entertainment

There is more simplicity in the man who eats caviar on impulse than in the man who eats Grape Nuts on principle.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Characteristics Eating Food/Drink People

Prejudiced people are all alike.

Characteristics People

Prosperity is the best protector of principle.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics Money

In order to influence a child, one must be careful not to be that child’s parent or grandparent.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Characteristics Children Family

Virtue is just vice at rest.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws

Ability is the art of getting credit for all the home runs somebody else hits.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Activities Baseball Characteristics Sports

My Hungarian grandfather was the kind of man that could follow someone into a revolving door and come out first.

(1957 – ) English actor, writer, journalist, comedian & film director
Characteristics

An optimist is a fellow who believes what's going to be will be postponed.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Characteristics People