Subject: Characteristics (Page 34)

Though I am not naturally honest, I am so sometimes by chance.

(1564 – 1616) English dramatist & poet
Characteristics Honesty

Charity begins at home… at about 6:30, when they call you and interrupt your dinner.

Characteristics

I'm afraid that fulfilling my potential would really cut into my sitting around time.

(1970 – ) American stand-up comedian & voice actor
Characteristics Time

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

(1906 – 1982) baseball player
Age Characteristics Old

The status quo sucks.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Characteristics Situations

Americans detest all lies except lies spoken in public or printed lies.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
America Characteristics Honesty Lies People

You’ll never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.

Characteristics

Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics Emotions

Sure men were born to lie, and women, to believe them.

(1685 – 1732) English writer
Characteristics Honesty Lies Men People Women

An idealist is a person who helps other people to be prosperous.

(1863 – 1947) automobile industrialist
Characteristics Money

I used to be indecisive… but I'm not sure.

Characteristics

I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your efforts to believe it.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Characteristics

There's something about me that makes a lot of people want to throw up.

(1934 – ) American singer & actor
Characteristics People Self

Be a fountain, not a drain.

(1960 – ) professional baseball player
Characteristics

I was born gay, but eight months of breast feeding wiped that right out.

(1962 – ) American stand-up comedian, writer, actor & radio host
Characteristics Situations

My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
Characteristics

Even at home, on my stationary exercise bike, I have a rearview mirror.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Characteristics

Consistence requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago.

1865 – 1959) American art historian
Characteristics Intelligence Stupidity

He was born silly and had a relapse.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Characteristics

According to obituary notices, a mean and useless citizen never dies.

(1857 – 1938) American lawyer
Characteristics People

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.

(1959 – ) American comedian
Characteristics Taxes