Subject: Characteristics (Page 35)

When you cannot get a compliment any other way pay yourself one.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics People Self

As soon as you mention something, if it's good, it goes away; if it's bad, it happens.

Characteristics Communication Murphy’s Laws Speech

I’ve never seen a man so low and depaved.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Characteristics Malaprops

People don’t admire you for what you hate, they admire you for what you do about it… and your slacks.

(1963 – ) American comedian & author
Characteristics

There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can’t tell the truth without lying.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Characteristics Honesty Lies

If Michaelangelo had been a heterosexual, the Sistine Chapel would have been painted basic white and with a roller.

1944) is an American writer & screenwriter
Characteristics Entertainment

Nothing motivates a man more than to see his boss putting in an honest day’s work.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws Work

Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws People

He used to be faily indecisive, but now he’s not so certain.

(1931 – ) English professional golfer, television commentator, author & golf course designer
Characteristics

Deep down, I'm pretty superficial.

(1922 – 1990) American actress
Characteristics Misspokements

Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics Opinion People

Conscience gets a lot of credit that belongs to cold feet.

Characteristics

I used to be a narrator for bad mimes.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Characteristics Entertainment

In 1969 I published a small book on Humility; it was a pioneering work which has not, to my knowledge, been superseded.


Characteristics

Husbands never become good; they merely become proficient.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Characteristics Husbands Marriage

I went to counseling, spent $5,000 to have two women call me a loser.

(1957 – ) American comedian
Characteristics Money Situations

Never accept a drink from a urologist.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Alcohol Characteristics Doctors Health

A New Zealander in a frenzy is an American in a coma.

(1970 – ) New Zealand stand-up comedian & radio & television personality
Characteristics Places World

Until I was 13, I thought my name was ‘Shut Up.’

(1943 – ) American football player
Age Characteristics Communication Self Young

Humor is reason gone mad.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Characteristics Emotions

Only a mediocre person is always at his best.

(1874 – 1965) English dramatist & novelist
Characteristics