Subject: Characteristics (Page 37)

If it weren't for marriage, men would spend their lives thinking they had no faults at all.

Characteristics Marriage Men

I believe in rules… sure I do; if there weren’t any rules, how could you break them?

(1906 – 1991) American baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Characteristics Sports

I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, "Have you read…"

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Characteristics Honesty Lies

Fanaticism consists in redoubling your effort when you have forgotten your aim.

(1863 – 1952) Spanish American philosopher, essayist, poet & novelist
Characteristics Intelligence

Sucker: Is this a game of chance?

Fields: Not the way I play it, no.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Activities Characteristics Games

Getting talked about is one of the penalties for being pretty, while being above suspicion is about the only compensation for being homely.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Characteristics Communication Speech

If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito.


Characteristics Situations

Refinement: The ability to yawn without opening your mouth.

Characteristics Definitions

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Characteristics Time

When you're hot, you're hot; when you're not, you're not.

(1933 – 1998) comedian & actor
Characteristics Success

The two women exchanged the kind of glance women use when no knife is handy.

(1905 – 1982) American mystery writer (co-author of Ellery Queen stories
Characteristics People Women

Don't lie, steal, or cheat unnecessarily.

Characteristics Conflict Honesty Murphy’s Laws

Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Characteristics Facts Science/Weather

I believe in equality; equality for everybody; no matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Beliefs Characteristics Self

I try not to break the rules but merely to test their elasticity.

(1914 – 1986) American baseball team owner & promoter
Characteristics Honesty

The ladies looked one another over with microscopic carelessness.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Characteristics Situations

I don’t drink, I’m a totalitarian.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Alcohol Characteristics Food/Drink Misspokements

He’s suffering from a lack of self of steam.

Characteristics Malaprops

If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Characteristics Situations

To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler – and less trouble.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics Problems Situations

Nothing makes you more tolerant of a neighbor's noisy party than being there.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Characteristics People Situations