Subject: Characteristics (Page 38)

He's liked, but he's not well liked.

(1915 – 2005) playwright & essayist
Characteristics Insults

I had a piece of Carefree Sugarless gum and I was still worried; it never kicked in.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Characteristics Food/Drink

She has the answer to everything and the solution to nothing.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Characteristics Insults

The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Characteristics Honesty Lies

The best years are the forties; after fifty a man begins to deteriorate, but in the forties he is at the maximum of his villainy.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Age Characteristics Life

Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier’n puttin’ it back.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Animals Cats Characteristics

If peeing in your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.


Characteristics TV/Movie Quotes

Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Characteristics Facts Science/Weather

Whatever women do, they must do it twice as well as men to be thought half as good.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws People Women

For every credibility gap there is a gullibility fill.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws

Tolerance: Another word for indifference.

Characteristics Definitions

Duty is what one expects from others, it is not what one does oneself.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics People

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Characteristics Past Time

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles, the first of which is to be flexible at all times.

(1896 – 1969) American congressman & senator (Illinois)
Characteristics People Self

Things could always be worse; for instance, you could be ugly and work in the Post Office.

writer, humorist, columnist & speaker
Appearance Characteristics Ugly Work

Why do you have to be a nonconformist like everybody else?

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Characteristics People

I think women who think size doesn't matter are shallow.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Body Characteristics

Tact is making your company feel at home, even though you wish they were.


Characteristics

When the sun comes up, I have morals again.

(1952 – ) comedian
Characteristics Situations

Of all the great qualities he had, and there were so many, there was one thing that set him apart from everybody else; he really thought I was funny.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Characteristics Self

The status quo sucks.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Characteristics Situations