Subject: Characteristics (Page 38)

She's generous to a fault… if it's her own.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Characteristics Communication

I don’t drink, I’m a totalitarian.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Alcohol Characteristics Food/Drink Misspokements

If you think you're wrong, you're wrong

Corollary: If you think you're wrong, you're right.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws Problems

Murphy was an optimist.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws

When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do – well, that's Memoirs.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Characteristics Past Reading/Writing Self

Pipe-smokers spend so much time cleaning, filling and fooling with their pipes, they don't have time to get into mischief.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Characteristics Individuals People

A neurotic can perfectly well be a literary genius, but his greatest danger is always that he will not recognize when he is dull.

(1917 – 2010) American lawyer, novelist, historian & essayist
Characteristics Communication Reading/Writing

Advice is like castor oil, easy to give, but dreadful to take.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Beliefs Characteristics Opinion

That which we call sin in others is experimentation for us.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher
Beliefs Characteristics

When one guy sees an invisible man he’s a nut case; ten people see him it’s a cult; ten million people see him it’s a respected religion.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Beliefs Characteristics God Intelligence Religion

Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you.

Characteristics Military Murphy’s Laws

Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie’ until you can find a rock.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Characteristics Government

If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Characteristics People Rednecks Things

You could start an argument in an empty house.

Characteristics Expressions

I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.

(1942 – ) humorist & radio broadcaster
Characteristics Intelligence Situations

I am not one of those who in expressing opinions confine themselves to facts.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Characteristics Honesty Opinion Truth

Callous: Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another.

Characteristics Definitions

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves into a position of power should on no account be allowed to do the job.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician
Characteristics Government People Work

He’s so lazy, he’d marry a pregnant woman.

Characteristics Expressions

It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics Money

Modesty in an actor is as fake as passion in a call girl.

(1916 – 1987) television actor & comedian
Characteristics Emotions Entertainment