Subject: Characteristics (Page 39)

If you can’t annoy somebody with what you write, I think there’s little point in writing.

(1922 – 1995) English novelist & poet
Characteristics Communication Reading/Writing

When it’s third and ten, you can take the milk drinkers and I’ll take the whiskey drinkers every time.

professional football player
Characteristics Football Sports

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are.

(1967 – ) American comedian, actor, producer & writer
Characteristics Marriage

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Characteristics Men Women

I'm compulsive, but I'm also very indecisive; I don't know what I want, but I know that I want it now.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Characteristics

To punish me for my contempt for authority, fate made me an authority myself.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Characteristics

A biography is a book that is usually written about a dead person because it is so unlike him when he was alive.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Books Characteristics Communication Reading/Writing

It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics Money

Masochism is a valuable job skill.

(1962 – ) writer & journalist
Characteristics Work

A conservative is a man who does not think that anything should be done for the first time.

(1864 – 1937) American banker, Assistant Secretary of Treasury
Beliefs Characteristics Opinion

Though familiarity may not breed contempt, it takes off the edge of admiration.

(1778 – 1830) English writer, essayist, critic, grammarian & philosopher
Characteristics

He turned out to be so many different characters he could have populated all of War and Peace and still had a few people left over.

(1920 – ) author, editor, journalist, playwright & television producer
Characteristics

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Characteristics People

Nobody ever lost a dollar by underestimating the taste of the American public.

(1810 – 1891) American politician, showman & businessman
Characteristics Money People

McKinley has a chocolate eclair backbone.

(1858 – 1919) 26th U.S. president
Characteristics Insults

Marriage is the operation by which a woman's vanity and a man's egotism are extracted without an anesthetic.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Characteristics Husbands Marriage Wives

If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito.


Characteristics Situations

You cannot make a man by standing a sheep on its hind legs, but by standing a flock of sheep in that position you can make a crowd of men.

(1872 – 1956) English essayist, parodist & caricaturist
Characteristics People

[I’m someone] who spends his time at parties in the room with the coats and whose idea of a good time is to go down to the bus terminal and pretend I’m going somewhere.

(1924 – 1987) American stand-up ‘deadpan’ comedian and actor
Characteristics People Self

As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time well knows, cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the human kind.

(1917 – 1998) author, critic, animal rights activist
Animals Cats Characteristics People

Studies have shown that an ant can carry one hundred times its own weight, but there is no known limit to the lifting power of the average tiny eighty-year-old Spanish peasant grandmother.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Characteristics