Subject: Characteristics (Page 4)

Some persons are likable in spite of their unswerving integrity.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Characteristics Honesty People

Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Characteristics

Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted.

(1894 – 1963) English writer
Characteristics Miscellaneous

Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands – and then eat just one of the pieces.

(1931 – ) American author & newspaper journalist
Characteristics

Is it weird in here, or is it just me?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Characteristics Situations

An optimist is someone who gets treed by a lion but enjoys the scenery.

(1897 – 1972) broadcast journalist & gossip columnist
Characteristics

My last boyfriend gave me a piece of coal, and he told me that he would marry me when it turned into a diamond from all the pressure.

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Characteristics Marriage

The sterile, arid environment created by truly jarring and discordant signage and gargantuan billboards is a turnoff.

(1946 – ) American comedian, actor & voice actor
Characteristics

If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?

(1942 – ) Scottish comedian, musician & actor
Beliefs Characteristics Religion

In order to influence a child, one must be careful not to be that child’s parent or grandparent.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Characteristics Children Family

Jolson's ego was so big he could have given the Lord himself an inferiority complex.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Characteristics God

I don’t drink, I’m a totalitarian.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Alcohol Characteristics Food/Drink Misspokements

My pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the sincerity of the pessimists.

(1894 – 1977) French biologist & philosopher
Characteristics

Forgive your enemies… if you can’t get back at them any other way.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Characteristics

Borrow money from pessimists; they don't expect it back.

Characteristics Money

Let the others have the charisma, I've got the class.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Characteristics

Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you.

Characteristics Military Murphy’s Laws

A hard dog to keep on the porch.

(1947 – ) U.S. Secretary of State, senator (New York) & first lady
Characteristics

The last person who quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong – until the next person quits or is fired.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws Problems

I recognize my limits, but when I look around I realize I am not living exactly in a world of giants.

(1919 – ) Italian Prime Minister
Characteristics Intelligence

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Body Characteristics Money Work