Subject: Characteristics (Page 41)

When our friends get into power, they aren’t our friends any more.

Age Characteristics Friends Murphy’s Laws Situations

Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Characteristics Failure Intelligence Mistakes People

Don't look back; something may be gaining on you.

(1906 – 1982) baseball player
Characteristics

Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity; that's how rich I want to be.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Characteristics Money Wealth

As blushing will sometimes make a whore pass for a virtuous woman, so modesty may make a fool seem a man of sense.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist
Characteristics Fools Intelligence Men People Women

Nervous as a cat in a room full of rockers

Characteristics Emotions Expressions

I am the common denominator to all my bad relationships.

(1966 – 2011) American stand-up comedian
Characteristics Relationships Self

When you cannot get a compliment any other way pay yourself one.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics People Self

The truth may be out there, but the lies are inside your head.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Characteristics Honesty Intelligence Truth

I want to make a revolving door that says “Pull” on it, just see how obedient people are.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Characteristics

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics

I went to counseling, spent $5,000 to have two women call me a loser.

(1957 – ) American comedian
Characteristics Money Situations

I don’t drink, I’m a totalitarian.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Alcohol Characteristics Food/Drink Misspokements

A pessimist is one who, when he has a choice of two evils, chooses both.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics People

Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws People

I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor; they sent a priest up to talk to me and he said, "On your mark…"

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Characteristics Situations

Hector Camacho's great-dream is to die in his own arms.

Boxing press agent
Boxing Characteristics Sports

Do not join encounter groups; if you enjoy being made to feel inadequate, call your mother.

(1923 – ) American journalist & gossip columnist
Characteristics

I had to give up masochism – I was enjoying it too much.

(1931 – 1994) British cartoonist
Characteristics Emotions

Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that their children are naive.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Characteristics Children Family Parents People

Virtue has its own reward, but no box office.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Characteristics