Subject: Characteristics (Page 42)

I used to be a narrator for bad mimes.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Characteristics Entertainment

The fundamental defect of fathers is that they want their children to be a credit to them.

(1872 – 1970) British philosopher, mathematician, historian & social critic
Characteristics Children Family Fathers

He's so honest you can shoot dice with him on the telephone.

(1931 – ) television newscaster
Characteristics Honesty

Nothing is as dangerous as an unemployed lawyer.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author
Characteristics Government Law Lawyers

The man who is a pessimist before forty-eight knows too much; if he is an optimist after it he knows too little.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics People

My wife gets so jealous; she came home from work and was mad at me because there was a pretty girl on the bus she thought I would have liked.

(1957 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & screenwriter
Characteristics Marriage Wives

I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end.

(1925 – 2013) British prime minister & politician
Characteristics

Don't look back; something may be gaining on you.

(1906 – 1982) baseball player
Characteristics

Liars get caught by the tale.

Characteristics Honesty Lies Murphy’s Laws

My dad is actually a manic depressive, which is very exciting half the time.

(1963 – ) American stand-up comedian
Characteristics Family Fathers Health

I was born gay, but eight months of breast feeding wiped that right out.

(1962 – ) American stand-up comedian, writer, actor & radio host
Characteristics Situations

Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Animals Characteristics Life

You cannot make a man by standing a sheep on its hind legs, but by standing a flock of sheep in that position you can make a crowd of men.

(1872 – 1956) English essayist, parodist & caricaturist
Characteristics People

Hypocrisy is the Vaseline of social intercourse.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws

These cigars are the nectarines of the gods.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Characteristics Malaprops

A good novel tells us the truth about it's hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Books Characteristics Communication Honesty Reading/Writing Truth

I will make a bargain with the Republicans; if they will stop telling lies about Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
Characteristics Honesty Lies Politicians Politics Truth

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles, the first of which is to be flexible at all times.

(1896 – 1969) American congressman & senator (Illinois)
Characteristics People Self

You only lie to two people in your life: your girlfriend and the police.

(1937 – ) American actor
Characteristics Honesty Lies

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile – hoping it will eat him last.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Characteristics

Imagine being in a room filled with losers.

(1968 – ) Welsh comedian
Characteristics People