Subject: Characteristics (Page 44)

To err is human to forgive, infrequent.

(1881 – 1960) American columnist
Characteristics Failure Mistakes Problems

If he fell into a pile of horse shit, he’d start looking for a pony.

Characteristics Expressions

Honey, tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to be sarcastic.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer
Characteristics TV/Movie Quotes

He’s so mean, he’d bite himself.

Characteristics Expressions

The fury engendered by the misspelling of a name in a (newspaper) column is in direct ratio to the obscurity of the mentionee.

Anger Characteristics Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

What are you afraid they're gonna do – sneak in and redecorate the place?

comedian & television writer
Characteristics Intelligence

I felt as out of place as a left-handed violinist in a crowded string section.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Characteristics Situations

He’d fight an anvil.

Characteristics Expressions

The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone he can blame it on.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws

Hard to tell if people are interested in joining my Sarcastic Club or not.

(1964 – ) English comedian
Characteristics

Worriers spend a lot of time shoveling smoke.

(1925 – ) writer
Characteristics Time

You have all the characteristics of a popular politician: a horrible voice, bad breeding, and a vulgar manner.

(450 BC – 388 BC) Greek Athenian comic playwright
Characteristics Government Politicians

The New England conscience does not stop you from doing what you shouldn't – it just stops you from enjoying it.

(1917 – 1998) author, critic, animal rights activist
Characteristics Places

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Characteristics

I can forgive Alfred Nobel for having invented dynamite, but only a fiend in human form could have invented the Nobel Prize.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Characteristics Ideas Intelligence Success

The proud man can learn humility, but he will be proud of it.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author
Characteristics

Trust everybody, but cut the cards.

(1867 – 1936) author & humorist
Activities Characteristics Games

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was ‘Always.’

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Characteristics Relationships Situations

No vice is so bad as advice.

(1868 – 1934) Canadian-American actress
Characteristics

Fishing is a delusion entirely surrounded by liars in old clothes.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Activities Beliefs Characteristics Clothing Lies Sports

My boyfriend's kids are half-Swedish, half-Norwegian: "They're see-through."

American stand-up comedian, television writer & actor
Characteristics People Places