Subject: Characteristics (Page 44)

The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.

(1932 – 2011) British-American actress
Characteristics

I was so unpopular as a kid, Dale Carnegie once hit me in the mouth.

(1924 – 1987) American stand-up ‘deadpan’ comedian and actor
Characteristics Insults People

There are three secrets to managing. The first secret is have patience. The second is be patient. And the third most important secret is patience.

baseball manager
Baseball Characteristics Sports

She looked at me like a cow looking at a new gate.

Appearance Characteristics Expressions Intelligence

I’ve been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks; the rest of them take after the other side of the family.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
America Characteristics Family Fathers People Places

I have a lot of growing up to do; I realized that the other day inside my fort.

(1969 – ) comedian & actor
Age Characteristics

Competence, like truth, beauty and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Appearance Characteristics

As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Characteristics Honesty Truth

Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Characteristics Things

Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
Characteristics People Work

A bad temper, like Mr. Whistler's paintings, should never be displayed in public.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics Reviews/Criticism

My girlfriend said to me in bed last night' 'you're a pervert;’ I said, 'that's a big word for a girl of nine.’

(1956 – ) American comedian
Characteristics Situations

A man thinks he amounts to a great deal but to a flea or a mosquito a human being is merely something good to eat.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Characteristics Food/Drink

When I was losing, they called me nuts; when I was winning they called me eccentric.

(1928 – 2001) American basketball coach
Characteristics Sports

Hell hath no fury like a liberal scorned.

(1932 – 2017) comedian, social activist, critic & writer
Anger Beliefs Characteristics

Many a live wire would be a dead one except for his connections.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Characteristics

It takes a real talent to be able to apologize in a manner that makes the offended person feel guilty.

Characteristics Communication

He is the kind of man who would cut down a redwood tree and then mount the stump to make a speech for conservation.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
Characteristics Insults

It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those we intend to commit.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Characteristics Time

There are two kinds of truth: there are real truths, and there are made up truths.

(1936 – ) American politician, Mayor of Washington, D.C.
Characteristics Honesty Lies Truth

Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Characteristics Children