Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
Home
About
Categories
Activities
Age
Animals
Appearance
Beliefs
Characteristics
Communication
Conflict
Death
Education
Emotions
Entertainment
Family
Food/Drink
Government
Health
Intelligence
Life
Marriage
Miscellaneous
Money
People
Places
Problems
Relationships
Science/Weather
Sex
Situations
Sports
Success
Things
Time
Work
Additional Categories
Book Titles
Confucius say
Definitions
Epitaphs
Exaggerations
Expressions
Hollywood Squares
Insults
Last Words
Murphy's Laws
Place Names
Proverbs
Reviews/Criticism
Song Titles
Tom Swifties
TV/Movie Quotes
Oops...
Bushisms
Church Bulletins
Classified Ads
Colemanballs
Headlines
Malaprops
Misspokements
Signs
Translations
Yogi-isms
Some Popular Authors
Abraham Lincoln
Alfred E. Neuman
Ambrose Bierce
Benjamin Franklin
Dave Barry
Demetri Martin
Dorothy Parker
Emo Phillips
George Carlin
Groucho Marx
H.L. Mencken
Homer Simpson
Jeff Foxworthy
Jimmy Carr
Joan Rivers
Mae West
Mark Twain
Mitch Hedberg
Oscar Wilde
Phyllis Diller
Richard Lewis
Rita Rudner
Rodney Dangerfield
Steven Wright
Stewart Francis
W.C. Fields
Will Rogers
Woody Allen
View All Authors
Subject:
Characteristics
(Page 45)
I'm a passive-aggressive; that's what this counselor labeled me, which really ticked me off, but I couldn't do a thing about it – not right then, but I made plans.
Milt Abel
American comedian
Characteristics
Passive-aggressive
One thing that's good about procrastination is that you always have something planned for tomorrow.
Gladys Bronwyn Stern
(1890 – 1973) English writer & critic
Characteristics
Procrastination
Self-respect: the secure feeling that no one, as yet, is suspicious.
H.L. Mencken
(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Characteristics
Self-respect
I keep reading between the lies.
Goodman Ace
(Aiskowitz) (1899 – 1982) humorist
Characteristics
Language
Lies
Truth
Many a live wire would be a dead one except for his connections.
Wilson Mizner
(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Characteristics
Connections
Influence
Nothing risqué, nothing gained.
Alexander Woollcott
(1887 – 1943) theater critic & commentator
Characteristics
Language
Sex
My boyfriend's kids are half-Swedish, half-Norwegian: "They're see-through."
Cathy Ladman
American stand-up comedian, television writer & actor
Characteristics
People
Places
Paleness
Scandinavians
There are two kinds of truth: there are real truths, and there are made up truths.
Marion Barry Jr.
(1936 – ) American politician, Mayor of Washington, D.C.
Characteristics
Honesty
Lies
Truth
On his arrest for drug use
Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands – and then eat just one of the pieces.
Judith Viorst
(1931 – ) American author & newspaper journalist
Characteristics
Chocolate
Strength
Misery no longer loves company; nowadays it insists on it.
Russell Baker
(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
Characteristics
Emotions
Company
Misery
My pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the sincerity of the pessimists.
Jean Rostand
(1894 – 1977) French biologist & philosopher
Characteristics
Pessimism
Telling lies does not work in advertising.
Stanisław Lec
(1909 – 1966) Polish poet, writer & aphorist
Characteristics
Honesty
Lies
Advertising
Refinement: The ability to yawn without opening your mouth.
Anonymous
Characteristics
Definitions
Refinement
He used to be fairly indecisive, but now he's not so certain.
Peter Alliss
British professional golfer & commentator
Characteristics
Decisions
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
Steven Wright
(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Characteristics
Ambition
The man’s desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world.
Helen Rowland
(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Characteristics
Men
People
Relationships
Sons
Well at least he has finally found his true love… what a pity he can’t marry himself.
Frank Sinatra
(1915 – 1998) American singer & actor
Characteristics
Insults
Egotism
Robert Redford
The less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.
Frank ‘Kin’ Hubbard
(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Characteristics
Government
Politicians
Accomplishments
Patriotism
Statesmen
Her virtue was that she said what she thought, her vice – that what she thought didn't amount to much.
Peter Ustinov
(1921 – 2004) English actor & author
Characteristics
Vices
Virtues
The last person who quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong – until the next person quits or is fired.
Sixth Law of Office Murphology
Characteristics
Murphy’s Laws
Problems
Responsibility
It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world, and moral courage so rare.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics
Courage
Page 45 of 50
« First
« Previous
43
44
45
46
47
Next »
Last »