Subject: Characteristics (Page 46)

He’s so crooked that when he dies, they’re going to have to screw him into the ground.

Characteristics Expressions Honesty

Advertising is 85% confusion and 15% commission.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Characteristics Communication Money

Virtue: Lack of opportunity.

Characteristics Definitions

It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Characteristics Intelligence Stupidity

If you wish to hide your character, do not play golf.

golf writer
Characteristics Golf Sports

To look at me now… it's hard to believe I was once considered a dull guy.

(1924 – 1987) American stand-up ‘deadpan’ comedian and actor
Characteristics

Laziness: The habit of resting before you get tired.

Characteristics Definitions

I actually thought about getting breast implants because I'm a radical, militant feminist and a hypocrite, it turns out.

(1970 – ) American stand-up comedian & voice actor
Appearance Body Characteristics

The truth is rarely pure and never simple.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics Honesty Truth

An ethical man is a Christian holding four aces.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics

Pain: An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions Intelligence Mind

One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is sea-sickness; a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Characteristics

I’m told he’s [a] decent sort when you get to know him, but no one ever has, so his decency is sort of secret.

(1937 – ) British playwright & screenwriter
Characteristics

I was so unpopular as a kid, Dale Carnegie once hit me in the mouth.

(1924 – 1987) American stand-up ‘deadpan’ comedian and actor
Characteristics Insults People

I always take blushing either for a sign of guilt, or of ill breeding.

(1670 – 1729) English playwright & poet
Appearance Characteristics

Seriousness is stupidity sent to college.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Characteristics

There's a difference between beauty and charm; a beautiful woman is one I notice, a charming woman is one who notices me.

(1879 – 1951) American educator, writer & musician
Characteristics People Women

It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

(1906 – 1992) American computer programmer & inventor of COBOL
Characteristics Communication

Even the smallest dog can lift its leg on the tallest building.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Characteristics Success

As an intellectual, he bestowed upon the games of golf and bridge all the enthusiasm and perseverance that he withheld from his books and ideas.

(1920 – 1982) foreign bureau chief, editor & speechwriter
Characteristics Golf Insults Intelligence

Fishing is a delusion entirely surrounded by liars in old clothes.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Activities Beliefs Characteristics Clothing Lies Sports