Subject: Characteristics (Page 47)

Pipe-smokers spend so much time cleaning, filling and fooling with their pipes, they don't have time to get into mischief.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Characteristics Individuals People

Fine words! … I wonder where you stole them.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist
Characteristics Communication Honesty Insults

In the heat of a political lifetime, he innocently squirrels away tidbits of misinformation and then, sometimes years later, casually drops them into his public discourse, like gum balls in a quiche

Characteristics People

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return; it's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.

(1917 – ) English physicist & science fiction author
Characteristics Honesty Money

Persistence is a great substitute for talent.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Characteristics

They've great respect for the dead in Hollywood, but none for the living.

(1909 – 1959) Australian-born American actor
Characteristics Hollywood Places

I'm a passive-aggressive; that's what this counselor labeled me, which really ticked me off, but I couldn't do a thing about it – not right then, but I made plans.

American comedian
Characteristics

The reason there are so few female politicians is that it’s too much trouble putting make-up on two faces.

Australian comedian & actress
Characteristics Government People Politicians Women

What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight – it's the size of the fight in the dog.

(1890 – 1969) 34th U.S. president, U.S. Army General
Characteristics

Flattery must be pretty thick before anybody objects to it.

(1908 – 1976) publisher & author
Characteristics

Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie’ until you can find a rock.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Characteristics Government

When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Characteristics Government Money Politics

Politeness is half good manners and half good lying.

(1880 – ?) American author
Characteristics Lies

Time wounds all heels.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Characteristics Insults Time TV/Movie Quotes

The Mets achieved total incompetence in a single year, while the Browns worked industriously for almost a decade to gain equal proficiency.

(1914 – 1986) American baseball team owner & promoter
Baseball Characteristics Sports

The best years are the forties; after fifty a man begins to deteriorate, but in the forties he is at the maximum of his villainy.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Age Characteristics Life

You’ll never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.

Characteristics

Etiquette means behaving yourself a little better than is absolutely essential.

(1884 – 1949) American humorist & literary critic
Characteristics

If one tells the truth, one is sure, sooner or later, to be found out.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics Honesty Truth

Maybe money corrupts the character; but lack of money isn't going to improve it either.

(1902 – 1968) novelist
Characteristics Money

This guy says, ‘I’m perfect for you, ‘cause I’m a cross between a macho and a sensitive man.’ … I said, ‘Oh, a gay trucker?’

(1956 – ) American entertainer & comedian
Characteristics Men People