Subject: Characteristics (Page 47)

I have often wished I had time to cultivate modesty… but I am too busy thinking about myself.

(1887 – 1964) English biographer, critic, novelist & poet
Characteristics

Home is where you hang your head.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Characteristics

Good hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even when you wish they were.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Characteristics Friends Old People

A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Characteristics

How many of you have ever started dating because you were too lazy to commit suicide?

(1956 – ) American entertainer & comedian
Characteristics Dating Relationships

One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Activities Characteristics Games

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Characteristics

There’s only one difference between Catholics and Jews; Jews are born with guilt, and Catholics have to go to school to learn it.

(1952 – ) comedian
Beliefs Characteristics People Religion

Giving up smoking is easy… I've done it hundreds of times.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Activities Characteristics

Admiration: Our feeling of delight that another person resembles us.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Characteristics People

Always be nice to those younger than you, because they are the ones who will be writing about you.

(1903 – 1974) English intellectual, literary critic & writer
Age Characteristics Reading/Writing

Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.

Characteristics Intelligence Situations Understanding

I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.

Activities Characteristics Exercise

You may be a redneck if… your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Characteristics People Rednecks

An Englishman, even if he is alone, forms an orderly queue of one.

(1912 – 1987) Hungarian-born British author
Characteristics England People Places

When it comes to giving—some people stop at nothing.

Characteristics Money People

One day of practice is like one day of clean living; it doesn’t do you any good.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Characteristics Sports

You won’t regret the men you never killed, but you will regret the women you passed up.

(1944 – ) English author
Characteristics People Women

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Characteristics

I am firm; you are obstinate; he is a pig-headed fool.

(1872 – 1970) British philosopher, mathematician, historian & social critic
Characteristics

You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Characteristics Situations Work