Subject: Characteristics (Page 48)

He’d steal flies from a blind spider.

Characteristics Expressions Honesty

Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie’ until you can find a rock.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Characteristics Government

To punish me for my contempt for authority, fate made me an authority myself.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Characteristics

Chastity is no more a virtue than malnutrition.

(1920 – 2000) physician, gerontologist, pacifist, anarchist & writer
Characteristics Sex

Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Characteristics Family

A pat on the back, though only a few vertebrae removed from a kick in the pants, is miles ahead in results.

(1898 – 1971) American humorist
Characteristics Situations

Trust everybody, but cut the cards.

(1867 – 1936) author & humorist
Activities Characteristics Games

I would worship the ground you walk on, Audrey, if you only lived in a better neighborhood.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Characteristics Speech

Nervous as a cat in a room full of rockers

Characteristics Emotions Expressions

Always yield to temptation, because it may not pass your way again.

Characteristics

If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out.

(1897 – 1976) American novelist, short story & sports writer
Characteristics Golf Sports

The less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Characteristics Government Politicians

As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Characteristics Honesty Truth

The man’s desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Characteristics Men People Relationships

It only takes a room of Americans for the English and Australians to realize how much we have in common.

(1957 – ) English actor, writer, journalist, comedian & film director
Characteristics England People Places

Good intentions are invariably ungrammatical.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics

Poverty is not a disgrace, but it’s terribly inconvenient.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Characteristics Money

The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive.

(1907 – 1988) science fiction author
Characteristics Death Life

To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler – and less trouble.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics Problems Situations

I’m a colored, one-eyed Jew – do I need anything else?

(1925 – 1990) American entertainer
Characteristics

Patience is a virgin.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Characteristics Malaprops