Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Characteristics
(Page 5)
Resolute: Obstinate in a course that we approve.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics
Definitions
Resolute
Laziness: The habit of resting before you get tired.
Anonymous
Characteristics
Definitions
Laziness
A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone’s feelings unintentionally.
Oscar Wilde
(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics
People
Gentleman
Style, is like a frog: you can dissect the thing, but it somehow dies in process.
Arthur Quinn
writer
Characteristics
Style
Virtue has its own reward, but no box office.
Mae West
(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Characteristics
Reward
Virtue
I couldn’t be a responsible enough parent if my kid was born with a new suit and a full-time job.
Doug Stanhope
(1967 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Characteristics
Self
Responsibility
My father always used to say, "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger," – 'til the accident.
Jimmy Carr
(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Characteristics
Situations
Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.
H.L. Mencken
(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Characteristics
Family
Situations
Conscience
Mother-in-law
Anyone who says the truth shall set you free has never been to traffic court.
Alfred E. Neuman
fictional mascot and cover boy of
Mad
, an American humor magazine
Characteristics
Truth
Even snakes are afraid of snakes.
Steven Wright
(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Animals
Characteristics
Fear
Snakes
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
Anonymous
Characteristics
Men
People
Women
Ambition
Equality
It only takes a room of Americans for the English and Australians to realize how much we have in common.
Stephen Fry
(1957 – ) English actor, writer, journalist, comedian & film director
Characteristics
England
People
Places
Americans
Australians
He wants to be the bride at every wedding, the corpse at every funeral, and the baby at every Christening.
Alice Roosevelt Longworth
(1884 – 1980) author & wit
Characteristics
Of her father Theodore Roosevelt
I like restraint, if it doesn't go too far.
Mae West
(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Activities
Characteristics
Restraint
I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W.C. Fields
(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol
Characteristics
Eating
Food/Drink
Breakfast
Gin
In 1969 I published a small book on Humility; it was a pioneering work which has not, to my knowledge, been superseded.
Francis Pakenham (Lord Longford)
Characteristics
Humility
An idealist is a person who helps other people to be prosperous.
Henry Ford
(1863 – 1947) automobile industrialist
Characteristics
Money
Idealist
Prosperity
If it weren't for marriage, men would spend their lives thinking they had no faults at all.
Anonymous
Characteristics
Marriage
Men
Gain a modest reputation for being unreliable and you will never be asked to do a thing.
Paul Theroux
(1941 – ) novelist
Characteristics
Situations
Reliability
I want everyone to tell me the truth, even if it costs him his job.
Samuel Goldwyn
(1879 – 1974) film producer
Characteristics
Honesty
Truth
Work
Why do you have to be a nonconformist like everybody else?
James Thurber
(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Characteristics
People
Nonconformist
Page 5 of 50
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