Subject: Characteristics (Page 50)

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return; it's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.

(1917 – ) English physicist & science fiction author
Characteristics Honesty Money

Remember to always be yourself… unless you suck.

(1964 – ) screenwriter, executive producer, director, composer & actor
Characteristics People Self

The world makes you into a bitch, no matter how quietly you go, so you may as well go kicking and screaming.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Characteristics Situations

Every once in a while someone without a single bad habit gets caught.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Characteristics

Silly things do cease to be silly if they are done by sensible people in an impudent way.

(1775 – 1817) English novelist
Characteristics People

To punish me for my contempt for authority, fate made me an authority myself.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Characteristics

My friends, no matter how rough the road may be, we can and we will, never, never surrender to what is right.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Characteristics Misspokements

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Characteristics Eating Food/Drink

Paranoia is a bad personality trait for a comedian; what are you laughing at?

(1974 – ) Scottish comedian
Characteristics Entertainment

Everybody lies; but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

Characteristics Communication Honesty Lies Murphy’s Laws

Not only is he ambidextrous, but he can throw with either hand.

(1915 – 1987) American football player and coach
Characteristics Misspokements

Patience: A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions Language

Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
Characteristics People Work

He’d fight an anvil.

Characteristics Expressions

Graceland is so tacky, Puerto Rican people walk out of there going, 'That's some tacky stuff there, man.'

American comedian & author
Characteristics Places

If you wish to hide your character, do not play golf.

golf writer
Characteristics Golf Sports

A pessimist is a person who has not had enough experience to be a cynic.

author
Characteristics

I’m too lazy to work and too scared to steal.

professional baseball player
Baseball Characteristics Sports Work