Subject: Characteristics (Page 50)

Giving up smoking is easy… I've done it hundreds of times.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Activities Characteristics

I'm compulsive, but I'm also very indecisive; I don't know what I want, but I know that I want it now.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Characteristics

Nixon is a purposeless man, but I have great faith in his cowardice.

(1930 – 2017) American journalist & author
Characteristics Insults

You only lie to two people in your life: your girlfriend and the police.

(1937 – ) American actor
Characteristics Honesty Lies

I got a cousin who's a psychotic with low self-esteem; he only wants to assassinate the vice president.

television writer, producer & director
Characteristics Conflict Health Killing

My friend Winnie is a procrastinator…. he didn’t get his birthmark until he was eight years old.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Characteristics People Time

Intuition: That strange instinct that tells a woman she is right, whether she is or not.

Characteristics Definitions People Women

I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor; they sent a priest up to talk to me and he said, "On your mark…"

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Characteristics Situations

Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, and Reagan couldn't tell the difference.

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Characteristics Honesty Insults Lies

The last person who quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong – until the next person quits or is fired.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws Problems

Maybe money corrupts the character; but lack of money isn't going to improve it either.

(1902 – 1968) novelist
Characteristics Money

… it was a Jewish porno film… one minute of sex and nine minutes of guilt.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Characteristics People

In the battle of existence, talent is the punch; tact is the clever footwork.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Characteristics

Complaining is good for you as long as you're not complaining to the person you're complaining about.

(1947 – ) Canadian cartoonist (For Better or For Worse)
Characteristics Emotions

Those whose approval you seek the most give you the least.

public relations manager
Characteristics Murphy’s Laws People

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics

May you be cursed with chronic anxiety about the weather.

(1837 – 1921) naturalist & essayist
Characteristics Science/Weather

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Characteristics Friends Old People Women