Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
Home
About
Categories
Activities
Age
Animals
Appearance
Beliefs
Characteristics
Communication
Conflict
Death
Education
Emotions
Entertainment
Family
Food/Drink
Government
Health
Intelligence
Life
Marriage
Miscellaneous
Money
People
Places
Problems
Relationships
Science/Weather
Sex
Situations
Sports
Success
Things
Time
Work
Additional Categories
Book Titles
Confucius say
Definitions
Epitaphs
Exaggerations
Expressions
Hollywood Squares
Insults
Last Words
Murphy's Laws
Place Names
Proverbs
Reviews/Criticism
Song Titles
Tom Swifties
TV/Movie Quotes
Oops...
Bushisms
Church Bulletins
Classified Ads
Colemanballs
Headlines
Malaprops
Misspokements
Signs
Translations
Yogi-isms
Some Popular Authors
Abraham Lincoln
Alfred E. Neuman
Ambrose Bierce
Benjamin Franklin
Dave Barry
Demetri Martin
Dorothy Parker
Emo Phillips
George Carlin
Groucho Marx
H.L. Mencken
Homer Simpson
Jeff Foxworthy
Jimmy Carr
Joan Rivers
Mae West
Mark Twain
Mitch Hedberg
Oscar Wilde
Phyllis Diller
Richard Lewis
Rita Rudner
Rodney Dangerfield
Steven Wright
Stewart Francis
W.C. Fields
Will Rogers
Woody Allen
View All Authors
Subject:
Characteristics
(Page 6)
Don’t say yes until I finish talking.
Darryl Zanuck
(1902 – 1979) American film studio executive & producer
Characteristics
Communication
When you don't know what you are doing, do it neatly.
Anonymous
Characteristics
Intelligence
Competence
Neatness
The two women exchanged the kind of glance women use when no knife is handy.
Frederick Dannay
(1905 – 1982) American mystery writer (co-author of Ellery Queen stories
Characteristics
People
Women
Glance
It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those we intend to commit.
Josh Billings
(1818 – 1885) humorist
Characteristics
Time
Repent
Sin
Is it weird in here, or is it just me?
Steven Wright
(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Characteristics
Situations
Always be sincere… even if you don’t mean it.
Harry Truman
(1884 – 1972) 33rd U.S. president
Characteristics
Sincerity
One good thing about punctuality is that it’s a sure way to help you enjoy a few minutes of privacy.
Orlando Battista
(1917 – 1995) Canadian-American chemist & author
Characteristics
Time
Punctuality
A pessimist is one who, when he has a choice of two evils, chooses both.
Oscar Wilde
(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics
People
Evil
Pessimists
I'm a passive-aggressive; that's what this counselor labeled me, which really ticked me off, but I couldn't do a thing about it – not right then, but I made plans.
Milt Abel
American comedian
Characteristics
Passive-aggressive
As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.
Josh Billings
(1818 – 1885) humorist
Characteristics
Honesty
Truth
I never exaggerate; you can ask Tipper or any one of our 11 daughters.
Al Gore Jr.
(1948 – ) U.S. vice president & politician, author & environmentalist
Characteristics
Communication
Exaggerations
Honey, tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to be sarcastic.
Megan Mullally
(1958 – ) American actress & singer
Characteristics
TV/Movie Quotes
As Karen Walker on “Will & Grace”
Tact
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
Steven Wright
(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Characteristics
Ambition
No vice is so bad as advice.
Marie Dressler
(1868 – 1934) Canadian-American actress
Characteristics
Advice
Vice
Diplomacy: Lying in state.
Oliver Herford
(1863 – 1935) British-born American writer, artist & illustrator
Characteristics
Government
Diplomacy
I like a man who's good, but not too good; for the good die young, and I hate a dead one.
Mae West
(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Age
Characteristics
Good
To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler – and less trouble.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics
Problems
Situations
Good
Noble
Teaching
Don't lie, steal, or cheat unnecessarily.
Feldman's Law
Characteristics
Conflict
Honesty
Murphy’s Laws
Some persons are likable in spite of their unswerving integrity.
Don Marquis
(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Characteristics
Honesty
People
The truth is rarely pure and never simple.
Oscar Wilde
(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics
Honesty
Truth
Pure
Simple
Prejudiced people are all alike.
Anonymous
Characteristics
People
Oxymorons
Prejudice
Page 6 of 50
« First
« Previous
4
5
6
7
8
Next »
Last »