Subject: Characteristics (Page 7)

When you don't know what you are doing, do it neatly.

Characteristics Intelligence

If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?

(1942 – ) Scottish comedian, musician & actor
Beliefs Characteristics Religion

Slicker than a greased eel.

Characteristics Expressions

You’ve got to take the bitter with the sour.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Characteristics Misspokements Speech

Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Characteristics Honesty

Anyone who says the truth shall set you free has never been to traffic court.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Characteristics Truth

He’s so crooked that when he dies, they’re going to have to screw him into the ground.

Characteristics Expressions Honesty

I've been accused of vulgarity, and I say that's bullshit!

(1926 – ) film director, screenwriter, composer, comedian, actor & producer
Characteristics Communication Language

A pat on the back, though only a few vertebrae removed from a kick in the pants, is miles ahead in results.

(1898 – 1971) American humorist
Characteristics Situations

If you wish to hide your character, do not play golf.

golf writer
Characteristics Golf Sports

Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Characteristics Family Situations

Humility is no substitute for a good personality.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Characteristics

Thou shalt not covet they neighbors’s house… unless they have a well-stocked bar.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Characteristics Food/Drink

None are so empty as those who are full of themselves.

(1609 – 1683) British religious leader
Characteristics People

I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Characteristics

Hard to tell if people are interested in joining my Sarcastic Club or not.

(1964 – ) English comedian
Characteristics

He who hesitates is sometimes saved.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Characteristics

Shirley Temple had charisma as a child… but it cleared up as an adult.

(1930 – 1978) American comedian
Characteristics Time

An alibi is a reason with a bad reputation.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Characteristics Honesty

That dog was so lazy he leaned against a fence to bark.

Animals Characteristics Dogs Expressions

I rely on my personality for birth control.

(1961 – ) comedian, writer, radio & television personality & blogger
Characteristics Sex