Subject: Characteristics (Page 8)

The ladies looked one another over with microscopic carelessness.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Characteristics Situations

Somewhere between the Angels and the French lies the rest of humanity.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics People

One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is sea-sickness; a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Characteristics

A woman is a highly developed, deeply intelligent, infinitely complicated being… and it needs to be carefully tricked into doing things.

(1974 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Characteristics People Women

If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?

(1942 – ) Scottish comedian, musician & actor
Beliefs Characteristics Religion

It's far easier to forgive an enemy after you've got even with him.

(1918 - 2002) American author
Characteristics People

I used to be a narrator for bad mimes.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Characteristics Entertainment

The two women exchanged the kind of glance women use when no knife is handy.

(1905 – 1982) American mystery writer (co-author of Ellery Queen stories
Characteristics People Women

Flatterer: one who says things to your face that he wouldn’t say behind your back.

Characteristics Communication People Speech

Gravity is a habit that is hard to shake off.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Characteristics

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Characteristics

Proud as a dog with two tails

Characteristics Expressions

To enjoy a good reputation give publicly, and steal privately.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Characteristics

McKinley has a chocolate eclair backbone.

(1858 – 1919) 26th U.S. president
Characteristics Insults

I ain’t got no respect for no religion where the head guy claims he can’t make no mistakes. Like he’s, waddya call, inflammable.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Characteristics Malaprops Mistakes

You can pretend to be serious; you can’t pretend to be witty.

(1885 – 1957) French stage actor, film actor, director, screenwriter & playwright
Characteristics

The older you get, the better you realize you were.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Age Characteristics Old

The English think incompetence is the same thing as sincerity.

(1908 – 1999) English writer
Characteristics England People Places

I am firm; you are obstinate; he is a pig-headed fool.

(1872 – 1970) British philosopher, mathematician, historian & social critic
Characteristics

These cigars are the nectarines of the gods.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Characteristics Malaprops

There is no ‘I’ in self-esteem.

(1982 – ) American comedian & actress
Characteristics Self