Subject: Characteristics (Page 9)

Intuition: That strange instinct that tells a woman she is right, whether she is or not.

Characteristics Definitions People Women

When you cannot get a compliment any other way pay yourself one.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics People Self

My last boyfriend gave me a piece of coal, and he told me that he would marry me when it turned into a diamond from all the pressure.

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Characteristics Marriage

There are two kinds of truth: there are real truths, and there are made up truths.

(1936 – ) American politician, Mayor of Washington, D.C.
Characteristics Honesty Lies Truth

Many who would not take the last cookie would take the last lifeboat.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author
Characteristics

Temptation is an irresistible force at work on a movable body.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Characteristics

Whenever A annoys or injures B on the pretense of saving or improving X, A is a scoundrel.

Characteristics Conflict Murphy’s Laws

The higher a monkey climbs, the more you can see of its ass.

(Vinegar Joe) (1883 – 1946) American army general
Characteristics People

You can pretend to be serious; you can’t pretend to be witty.

(1885 – 1957) French stage actor, film actor, director, screenwriter & playwright
Characteristics

A woman is a highly developed, deeply intelligent, infinitely complicated being… and it needs to be carefully tricked into doing things.

(1974 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Characteristics People Women

Only a mediocre person is always at his best.

(1874 – 1965) English dramatist & novelist
Characteristics

The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.

Characteristics God Life

There are only two ways of telling the complete truth – anonymously and posthumously.

(1930 – ) economist, social commentator & author
Characteristics Honesty Truth

Studies have shown that an ant can carry one hundred times its own weight, but there is no known limit to the lifting power of the average tiny eighty-year-old Spanish peasant grandmother.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Characteristics

Sucker: Is this a game of chance?

Fields: Not the way I play it, no.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Activities Characteristics Games

Be careful of men who are bald and rich; the arrogance of "rich" usually cancels out the nice of "bald.”

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Appearance Characteristics Men People Wealth

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Characteristics Communication Language Truth

I rely on my personality for birth control.

(1961 – ) comedian, writer, radio & television personality & blogger
Characteristics Sex

A man can be called ruthless if he bombs a country to oblivion; a woman can be called ruthless if she puts you on hold.

(1934 – ) American feminist, journalist, & social & political activist
Characteristics Men People Women

The fundamental defect of fathers is that they want their children to be a credit to them.

(1872 – 1970) British philosopher, mathematician, historian & social critic
Characteristics Children Family Fathers

When it comes to giving—some people stop at nothing.

Characteristics Money People